5 Questions for January 11th, 2011
Fighting a monsoon here in Tampa, but still ready for a holiday 5 Questions!
Question #1: Team Struggle, how are you celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day? (Matt in FL)
Jenn B.: I am celebrating by working. I tried to tell my boss that I have an “in” with the black community, so I should probably have today off for observance. They were not receptive. Dr. King had a dream, and so do I- to become a trophy wife…therefore, each and every day will be a holiday for me.
Eric Prae: I am also working today, but I love my job so no big deal. Tonight I will celibrate with an all new episode of House M.D., Crown Royal and writing. Love the holidays.
Question #2: Break down the NFL playoffs for me! (Jason from Tampa)
Eric Prae: I have a horrible admission to make. I can’t believe I am about to admit this, but here goes.
I am a diehard Dolphins fan. I bleed ugly teal and orange. If Dan Marino needed a kidney, I would give him one. But…… I am loving me some New York Jets right now.
I love Rex Ryan. I love Jason Taylor. I think all the trash talk is just wonderful. I love Antonio Cromartie and all of the illegitimate kids whose names he can’t remember. I am sooooo jealous of their cute Mexican female Quarterback. I want my coach to have a foot fetish scandal. I want my team to beat the Patriots in Foxboro. I want my team to matter.
I am officially rooting for the Jets, and I’m sorry.
Jenn B.: Well, since my G-Men are out- I have adopted The Jets as my team for the remainder of the season. I mean, we do share a stadium… ANNNNNND Sanchise could GET IT……………Twice.
Question #3: An eighth grader in Florida got almost a perfect score on the SAT’s! What did you two idiots get? (Derek in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Eighth grade? It was a good day for me in eighth grade if I put my pants on correctly. I looked this kid up on the internet. He might live in Florida, but he’s not from Florida. No one down here is that smart. It’s why Jenn and I fit in so well.
I got an 1190 on my SAT in 11th grade. Never took it again. I beat my best friend Bryan by 10 points, and I still remind him of that any time we are drinking together.
Jenn B.: Yea- no way that kid is actually from here. Sorry Tampa, but the Florida residents that I know, who were born and raised here- are idiots. Your best foot has not been “put forward” with these rejects. The kid was probably just bored on vacation at Disney, and decided to take the SAT while riding the most frightening ride ever created-“It’s a Small World.”
I don’t want to divulge my score, because it will just show how much more intelligent this half of the Struggle Bus is, and I don’t like to see Eric cry. That, and people will expect much more out of me as a result.
Question #4: Facebook seems to be a favorite topic of lots of people… what do you guys find to be the biggest irritant about it? (Jill in 'Cuse)
Jenn B.: Lately- since its winter time back at home- everyone has been complaining about the snow, and how they “can’t wait to get out of Syracuse.” I wish all those people would shut up. Find a job elsewhere, pack your shit, and move where you don’t have to see snow for 8 months a year. You all sound like pathetic women in abusive relationships. Syracuse will never stop snowing on you, and no matter how much you think it loves you- it will continue to deliver the beating. So, until you grow a set, and decide to make moves with your life- please, stop telling all of us happy people just how miserable your life is.
Eric Prae: OK, Jenn has a good one. But I think I can beat it…
I HATE when people post song lyrics as their status. If you do this, stop reading right now, and punch yourself right in the face. Do it. Please.
I don’t care that you just listened to some Taylor Swift song in your car and it spoke to you. I don’t need Carrie Underwood’s words on my wall.
Here’s an idea: Make your own lyrics up! That would be fun. Do something creative.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: The other night I was out at a bar with some friends. We spot a guy with the most ridiculous mustache/hair combination ever. We decided to talk to him. It was a major fail:
First off, when you see someone with long curly hair, and a mustache that also curls, you instantly think that they must have a GREAT sense of humor! Did they lose a bet? Are they doing this to piss off a current or ex girlfriend? This mustache and hair is very long, so this style choice was obviously pre-meditated.
Also, at this point in the night when we spotted this gentleman, I was hammered and my hearing aid batteries had died. So I was living in happy, silent land. While I find this blissful, times like these when I absolutely cannot communicate is always when things go wrong.
My friend walks up to this guy and starts talking to him. We sent a female first; they tend to get a better reaction from men, just in case this guy was a serial killer in training. Turns out he was. She came back to the group pissed.
Female Friend: He says that you’re a douche and a f**, and no, you can’t’ have a picture with him.
Due to my current state this took at least 5 whole minutes to process in my brain.
Deaf Drunk Eric Prae: What? That idiot spent all that time growing that hilarity on his face and he won’t take a picture with me? I’ll post it on my site! What a dick.
Turns out I was a little too loud. Mustache Man overheard me and was pissed. He turned to say something, so I stood up.
Then we both realized that I am over six foot two, and he was about three foot eleven. Altercation averted.
He gave me the finger with his chubby little hand as I moved on. I told him to go back to the tree and make me some cookies.
I hope while he is at work today protecting his pot of gold, he reads the Struggle Bus.
That is how you struggle.
Question #1: Team Struggle, how are you celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day? (Matt in FL)
Jenn B.: I am celebrating by working. I tried to tell my boss that I have an “in” with the black community, so I should probably have today off for observance. They were not receptive. Dr. King had a dream, and so do I- to become a trophy wife…therefore, each and every day will be a holiday for me.
Eric Prae: I am also working today, but I love my job so no big deal. Tonight I will celibrate with an all new episode of House M.D., Crown Royal and writing. Love the holidays.
Question #2: Break down the NFL playoffs for me! (Jason from Tampa)
Eric Prae: I have a horrible admission to make. I can’t believe I am about to admit this, but here goes.
I am a diehard Dolphins fan. I bleed ugly teal and orange. If Dan Marino needed a kidney, I would give him one. But…… I am loving me some New York Jets right now.
I love Rex Ryan. I love Jason Taylor. I think all the trash talk is just wonderful. I love Antonio Cromartie and all of the illegitimate kids whose names he can’t remember. I am sooooo jealous of their cute Mexican female Quarterback. I want my coach to have a foot fetish scandal. I want my team to beat the Patriots in Foxboro. I want my team to matter.
I am officially rooting for the Jets, and I’m sorry.
Jenn B.: Well, since my G-Men are out- I have adopted The Jets as my team for the remainder of the season. I mean, we do share a stadium… ANNNNNND Sanchise could GET IT……………Twice.
Question #3: An eighth grader in Florida got almost a perfect score on the SAT’s! What did you two idiots get? (Derek in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Eighth grade? It was a good day for me in eighth grade if I put my pants on correctly. I looked this kid up on the internet. He might live in Florida, but he’s not from Florida. No one down here is that smart. It’s why Jenn and I fit in so well.
I got an 1190 on my SAT in 11th grade. Never took it again. I beat my best friend Bryan by 10 points, and I still remind him of that any time we are drinking together.
Jenn B.: Yea- no way that kid is actually from here. Sorry Tampa, but the Florida residents that I know, who were born and raised here- are idiots. Your best foot has not been “put forward” with these rejects. The kid was probably just bored on vacation at Disney, and decided to take the SAT while riding the most frightening ride ever created-“It’s a Small World.”
I don’t want to divulge my score, because it will just show how much more intelligent this half of the Struggle Bus is, and I don’t like to see Eric cry. That, and people will expect much more out of me as a result.
Question #4: Facebook seems to be a favorite topic of lots of people… what do you guys find to be the biggest irritant about it? (Jill in 'Cuse)
Jenn B.: Lately- since its winter time back at home- everyone has been complaining about the snow, and how they “can’t wait to get out of Syracuse.” I wish all those people would shut up. Find a job elsewhere, pack your shit, and move where you don’t have to see snow for 8 months a year. You all sound like pathetic women in abusive relationships. Syracuse will never stop snowing on you, and no matter how much you think it loves you- it will continue to deliver the beating. So, until you grow a set, and decide to make moves with your life- please, stop telling all of us happy people just how miserable your life is.
Eric Prae: OK, Jenn has a good one. But I think I can beat it…
I HATE when people post song lyrics as their status. If you do this, stop reading right now, and punch yourself right in the face. Do it. Please.
I don’t care that you just listened to some Taylor Swift song in your car and it spoke to you. I don’t need Carrie Underwood’s words on my wall.
Here’s an idea: Make your own lyrics up! That would be fun. Do something creative.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: The other night I was out at a bar with some friends. We spot a guy with the most ridiculous mustache/hair combination ever. We decided to talk to him. It was a major fail:
First off, when you see someone with long curly hair, and a mustache that also curls, you instantly think that they must have a GREAT sense of humor! Did they lose a bet? Are they doing this to piss off a current or ex girlfriend? This mustache and hair is very long, so this style choice was obviously pre-meditated.
Also, at this point in the night when we spotted this gentleman, I was hammered and my hearing aid batteries had died. So I was living in happy, silent land. While I find this blissful, times like these when I absolutely cannot communicate is always when things go wrong.
My friend walks up to this guy and starts talking to him. We sent a female first; they tend to get a better reaction from men, just in case this guy was a serial killer in training. Turns out he was. She came back to the group pissed.
Female Friend: He says that you’re a douche and a f**, and no, you can’t’ have a picture with him.
Due to my current state this took at least 5 whole minutes to process in my brain.
Deaf Drunk Eric Prae: What? That idiot spent all that time growing that hilarity on his face and he won’t take a picture with me? I’ll post it on my site! What a dick.
Turns out I was a little too loud. Mustache Man overheard me and was pissed. He turned to say something, so I stood up.
Then we both realized that I am over six foot two, and he was about three foot eleven. Altercation averted.
He gave me the finger with his chubby little hand as I moved on. I told him to go back to the tree and make me some cookies.
I hope while he is at work today protecting his pot of gold, he reads the Struggle Bus.
That is how you struggle.
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5 Questions for January 10th, 2011
5 QUESTIONS!!!!
Question #1: Team Struggle- Sum up the NFL playoffs for me and who is going to win tonight’s BCS National Championship Game? (Marty in Tampa)
Jenn B.: Dear Michael Vick and the Eagles-
S my D. :)
Thanks, Jennifer Bellso and the NY Giants
Eric Prae: I honestly didn’t watch one playoff game over the weekend; I don’t even know who won. I bet it wasn't my Dolphins.
For tonight’s game I actually did some research. Oregon’s cheerleaders wear WAY less clothing than Auburn's Cheerleaders. I’ll take Oregon. Go Ducks.
Question #2: My friends are all in a “poke war” on Facebook. Basically they just poke each other all day and somehow there is a winner. My phone blows up all day with “poke” notifications. Help! (Sara in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: I know some women on Facebook I want to poke…
Seriously, are your friends in 10th grade? Next time you see them, walk up for a hug and poke them right in the eye! Then when they are on the ground in pain, poke them with a stick. Then declare yourself the triumphant and glorious winner of “poke war”.
Jenn B.: Thank god “poking” isn’t shown to the entire Facebook world, or I would look like a real hooker… I have different guys poking me all day. I feel like I am in a poking relationship with each of them, and every time one of them pokes me, I am cheating on the others. I should wear a Scarlet “P” on all of my shirts from now on.
Question #3: Team Struggle- Please tell me you watched the first episode of Jersey Shore!!! (100 different emails)
Eric Prae: ABSOLUTELY! Sammi and J-WOWW fighting the first episode? Epic. They should both get 1 month of MMA training and then a pay-per-view special where they can get in the octagon and FINISH THIS once and for all.
The new chick (I forgot her name already) - A HUGE upgrade over Angelina.
The teaser about J-WOWW and her boyfriend (no idea what his name is either) breaking up – outstanding. I want to see J-WOWW just go insane. I feel like the producers paid the boyfriend off to call her and dump her on National TV just to make the show better.
I know this show is absolute trash, and I love every minute of it.
Jenn B.: I love the Jersey Shore. I think that Ronnie needs to go rummaging through Sammi-Sweetheart’s purse to see if his balls are in there. He is pitiful. If he punched her right in the mouth- this would be the only instance of domestic violence that I would support. She is awful.
Question #4: What did you think of the “No Pants Ride 2011” in NYC?
Eric Prae: (if you don’t know, the “No Pants Ride” is when people in NY get on the subway and strip down to their underwear for a day. There was also an underwear party in Union Square).
Take it from someone who has ridden the Subways in NYC, I don’t want to sit on those seats without my pants on. They should have renamed it the “Catch Something Bad from a Bum Ride”.
Jenn B.: I didn’t know this had an actual name! I did something similar to this back in 2008, when I visited NYC with my college friends. Mine started in a bar bathroom, and moved to the subway though.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: During my holiday travels I attended a Miami Heat game, and then did running Facebook updates for all of my “friends”. It was a great time. After the game I decided to hit the mens bathroom before we all found a cab to get us back to South Beach and more alcohol.
The mens room was packed and everyone was forming those single file lines behind every urinal and waiting patiently. Everyone except two guys loudly speaking some European language, wearing very tight clothing and cutting everyone in the “pee lines”. Two Cuban dudes didn’t take a liking to them, and as soon as the European guys snuck up to their urinal, a huge argument and shoving match broke out.
Let me tell you something: There is nothing less manly than a pushing argument in a public bathroom where everyone is yelling while also making sure their dick isn’t hanging out. Watching this was one of the greatest moments of my life.
During the chaos I decided to maneuver around all of this and use the pisser. I decided to drop everything, all the way to the floor, and stood there peeing like a 5 year old with my ass cheeks hanging out. Everyone behind me started laughing, except for the 4 or 5 guys who were still arguing over urinal etiquette. As I went to wash my hands someone tried to high five me. I stopped and said:
“Whoa buddy; I don’t know where that hand has been”.
Entertaining people in a mens room: That is how you struggle.
Question #1: Team Struggle- Sum up the NFL playoffs for me and who is going to win tonight’s BCS National Championship Game? (Marty in Tampa)
Jenn B.: Dear Michael Vick and the Eagles-
S my D. :)
Thanks, Jennifer Bellso and the NY Giants
Eric Prae: I honestly didn’t watch one playoff game over the weekend; I don’t even know who won. I bet it wasn't my Dolphins.
For tonight’s game I actually did some research. Oregon’s cheerleaders wear WAY less clothing than Auburn's Cheerleaders. I’ll take Oregon. Go Ducks.
Question #2: My friends are all in a “poke war” on Facebook. Basically they just poke each other all day and somehow there is a winner. My phone blows up all day with “poke” notifications. Help! (Sara in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: I know some women on Facebook I want to poke…
Seriously, are your friends in 10th grade? Next time you see them, walk up for a hug and poke them right in the eye! Then when they are on the ground in pain, poke them with a stick. Then declare yourself the triumphant and glorious winner of “poke war”.
Jenn B.: Thank god “poking” isn’t shown to the entire Facebook world, or I would look like a real hooker… I have different guys poking me all day. I feel like I am in a poking relationship with each of them, and every time one of them pokes me, I am cheating on the others. I should wear a Scarlet “P” on all of my shirts from now on.
Question #3: Team Struggle- Please tell me you watched the first episode of Jersey Shore!!! (100 different emails)
Eric Prae: ABSOLUTELY! Sammi and J-WOWW fighting the first episode? Epic. They should both get 1 month of MMA training and then a pay-per-view special where they can get in the octagon and FINISH THIS once and for all.
The new chick (I forgot her name already) - A HUGE upgrade over Angelina.
The teaser about J-WOWW and her boyfriend (no idea what his name is either) breaking up – outstanding. I want to see J-WOWW just go insane. I feel like the producers paid the boyfriend off to call her and dump her on National TV just to make the show better.
I know this show is absolute trash, and I love every minute of it.
Jenn B.: I love the Jersey Shore. I think that Ronnie needs to go rummaging through Sammi-Sweetheart’s purse to see if his balls are in there. He is pitiful. If he punched her right in the mouth- this would be the only instance of domestic violence that I would support. She is awful.
Question #4: What did you think of the “No Pants Ride 2011” in NYC?
Eric Prae: (if you don’t know, the “No Pants Ride” is when people in NY get on the subway and strip down to their underwear for a day. There was also an underwear party in Union Square).
Take it from someone who has ridden the Subways in NYC, I don’t want to sit on those seats without my pants on. They should have renamed it the “Catch Something Bad from a Bum Ride”.
Jenn B.: I didn’t know this had an actual name! I did something similar to this back in 2008, when I visited NYC with my college friends. Mine started in a bar bathroom, and moved to the subway though.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: During my holiday travels I attended a Miami Heat game, and then did running Facebook updates for all of my “friends”. It was a great time. After the game I decided to hit the mens bathroom before we all found a cab to get us back to South Beach and more alcohol.
The mens room was packed and everyone was forming those single file lines behind every urinal and waiting patiently. Everyone except two guys loudly speaking some European language, wearing very tight clothing and cutting everyone in the “pee lines”. Two Cuban dudes didn’t take a liking to them, and as soon as the European guys snuck up to their urinal, a huge argument and shoving match broke out.
Let me tell you something: There is nothing less manly than a pushing argument in a public bathroom where everyone is yelling while also making sure their dick isn’t hanging out. Watching this was one of the greatest moments of my life.
During the chaos I decided to maneuver around all of this and use the pisser. I decided to drop everything, all the way to the floor, and stood there peeing like a 5 year old with my ass cheeks hanging out. Everyone behind me started laughing, except for the 4 or 5 guys who were still arguing over urinal etiquette. As I went to wash my hands someone tried to high five me. I stopped and said:
“Whoa buddy; I don’t know where that hand has been”.
Entertaining people in a mens room: That is how you struggle.
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5 Questions for January 3rd, 2011
Were back from some holiday traveling, drinking and most importantly: doing horribly stupid things that we can write about. Let’s do this!
Question #1: What are your new year’s resolutions? (B.J. in St. Pete)
Jenn B.: My New Year’s Resolution is to remain single for the entire 2011 year. That, and to be nicer to people. I have two resolutions, because I usually tend to do things half-assed. So I figure going 50% on this should benefit the general public either way.
Eric Prae: Drink more, sleep less, do a lot of stand-up comedy, and start a charity to help men named B.J. legally change their names. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Question #2: Team Struggle, which celebrity do you want to punch the most??? (Jake in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Jets fans, guys wearing Affliction, cavemen, people who send me “smiley face” messages, any of my 10,000 Facebook friends who aren’t creative or funny… Wait they’re not celebrities… I’ll let Jenn handle this one. Jennifer-
Jenn B.: Is Eric considered a celebrity yet? Haha! Umm, well, I don’t have anything against too many celebrities at this time. No one has done anything remarkably stupid.
Question #3: I just moved from Tampa to Dallas for a really good job. Everyone guy here wears a cowboy hat. What do I do now? (Rachel in Dallas)
Jenn B.: Move back to Tampa? Not sure which is worse- guys who wear cowboy attire, or shirts with rhinestones?
Eric Prae: Yell “YEEEEE-HAWWWWWW” every time you get laid.
Question #4: Jenn, our NY Giants are out of the playoffs with 10 wins, and Seattle is in with 7 wins. Please feel free to rant and scream about this! (Nicole in Upstate NY)
Jenn B.: Surprisingly, I am not that angry about this. The Giants lead the NFL with interceptions, right? They didn’t play to the caliber of deserving a playoff spot this year. Yesterday, I was really pissed off about the Bears not “pulling their weight”, and then I realized what a total asshole I was for trying to rely on a team like the Bears to pull us into the playoffs. Look at me being reasonable, and logical. I am turning a new leaf in 2011!
Eric Prae: I think it’s kind of funny when fans get all crazy and scream “unfair!!!” Yes the Bucs and Giants deserve to be in the playoffs with 10 wins and Seattle should go back to making coffee, but I love controversy, so this terribly unfair rule is a good thing.
I want to put this rule into all sports! The Red Sox win the AL East, and then they send the Rays and the Blue Jays to the playoffs instead. Why? It would be hilarious!
The Lakers win the western conference, and then they just decide to send Oklahoma City to the finals! Just to watch everyone lose their minds.
For the NHL playoffs, we will just pick city names out of a hat! Perfect!!!
Don’t worry Nicole from Upstate, you can wipe your tears with your 15 Eli Manning jerseys!
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Jenn decided this year that she was going to do all her Christmas shopping online. Since she was spending the holiday at home in New York, she didn’t want to spend an extra $50 just to fly all the crap home. So, after doing all her shopping, she received a confirmation email from Overstock.com, that included all of her tracking numbers. Shortly after receiving this email, she received another one from FedEx, with another tracking number. Hmm…
Jenn looked up both tracking numbers, and the one for Overstock.com said everything was being shipped to Syracuse, NY. Ok, looks like all systems are a go! Not so fast- the FedEx tracking number said that Jenn had a 32lb box being shipped to Tampa, arriving on the 22nd. This was not good news. So, to get to the bottom of things- Jenn called both companies. With her patience, charm, and general “people skills”, we are sure you can only imagine how these phone calls went…
(Jenn called Overstock, and the phone operator (who sounded like she would rather be chewing lead paint) confirmed that all packages were shipped to Syracuse.)
The follow dialogue is that of Jenn on the phone with the customer service rep at FedEx. Pretty sure Jenn ruined/made her day. She does have that kind of power…
FedEx: Hi my name is__(Jenn never really pays attention to names)____. How can I help you?
Jenn: Yea, hi. I need some help, or somebody is about to have a really bad day. (kind of laughing) I have two separate confirmation numbers for 1 order, and I need to figure out where my shipment is actually going.
FedEx: Sure, I can help you with that. What is the tracking number?
Jenn: Well, I have two, but I will give you the one sent to me in an email directly from FedEx.
(after a few numbers were punched into her system, the rep confirms that the package is definitely arriving at Jenn’s doorstep, in Tampa.)
Jenn: Ok, well this cannot happen. This needs to be changed.
FedEx: Ma’am, the package is already en route to Tampa, and it cannot be changed at this point.
Jenn: Ok, well remember when I said someone was about to have a really bad day? (Jenn starts cussing, turns into her irritable evil twin, and lights this lady up.)
After countless of her frustrations were expressed, Jenn says…”and besides, according to Overstock.com, the only thing being sent via FedEx, is a necklace for my mother- and I would be a real big asshole if I bought my mom a 32lb necklace!!”
FedEx: Ma’am…This package is not being sent from Overstock.com. It is being sent from a location in Las Vegas? A “Passion Parties International.”
Jenn: Oh my god.
FedEx: Ma’am?
Jenn: Yea, sorry about all this. Big mix up. That package should definitely come to Tampa. It is 32 lbs of vibrators and other adult toys. Thanks for your help, and have a great Christmas!
FedEx- (Sounding like she is about to fall out of her chair laughing) You too, Jennifer, glad we could figure this out. Enjoy your package!
Jenn recently got into the Adult Toy industry, and her giant starter kit was being mailed to her. This, right here, is why we love Jenn. So, if you need to set up a party- shoot Jenn an email
Question #1: What are your new year’s resolutions? (B.J. in St. Pete)
Jenn B.: My New Year’s Resolution is to remain single for the entire 2011 year. That, and to be nicer to people. I have two resolutions, because I usually tend to do things half-assed. So I figure going 50% on this should benefit the general public either way.
Eric Prae: Drink more, sleep less, do a lot of stand-up comedy, and start a charity to help men named B.J. legally change their names. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Question #2: Team Struggle, which celebrity do you want to punch the most??? (Jake in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Jets fans, guys wearing Affliction, cavemen, people who send me “smiley face” messages, any of my 10,000 Facebook friends who aren’t creative or funny… Wait they’re not celebrities… I’ll let Jenn handle this one. Jennifer-
Jenn B.: Is Eric considered a celebrity yet? Haha! Umm, well, I don’t have anything against too many celebrities at this time. No one has done anything remarkably stupid.
Question #3: I just moved from Tampa to Dallas for a really good job. Everyone guy here wears a cowboy hat. What do I do now? (Rachel in Dallas)
Jenn B.: Move back to Tampa? Not sure which is worse- guys who wear cowboy attire, or shirts with rhinestones?
Eric Prae: Yell “YEEEEE-HAWWWWWW” every time you get laid.
Question #4: Jenn, our NY Giants are out of the playoffs with 10 wins, and Seattle is in with 7 wins. Please feel free to rant and scream about this! (Nicole in Upstate NY)
Jenn B.: Surprisingly, I am not that angry about this. The Giants lead the NFL with interceptions, right? They didn’t play to the caliber of deserving a playoff spot this year. Yesterday, I was really pissed off about the Bears not “pulling their weight”, and then I realized what a total asshole I was for trying to rely on a team like the Bears to pull us into the playoffs. Look at me being reasonable, and logical. I am turning a new leaf in 2011!
Eric Prae: I think it’s kind of funny when fans get all crazy and scream “unfair!!!” Yes the Bucs and Giants deserve to be in the playoffs with 10 wins and Seattle should go back to making coffee, but I love controversy, so this terribly unfair rule is a good thing.
I want to put this rule into all sports! The Red Sox win the AL East, and then they send the Rays and the Blue Jays to the playoffs instead. Why? It would be hilarious!
The Lakers win the western conference, and then they just decide to send Oklahoma City to the finals! Just to watch everyone lose their minds.
For the NHL playoffs, we will just pick city names out of a hat! Perfect!!!
Don’t worry Nicole from Upstate, you can wipe your tears with your 15 Eli Manning jerseys!
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Jenn decided this year that she was going to do all her Christmas shopping online. Since she was spending the holiday at home in New York, she didn’t want to spend an extra $50 just to fly all the crap home. So, after doing all her shopping, she received a confirmation email from Overstock.com, that included all of her tracking numbers. Shortly after receiving this email, she received another one from FedEx, with another tracking number. Hmm…
Jenn looked up both tracking numbers, and the one for Overstock.com said everything was being shipped to Syracuse, NY. Ok, looks like all systems are a go! Not so fast- the FedEx tracking number said that Jenn had a 32lb box being shipped to Tampa, arriving on the 22nd. This was not good news. So, to get to the bottom of things- Jenn called both companies. With her patience, charm, and general “people skills”, we are sure you can only imagine how these phone calls went…
(Jenn called Overstock, and the phone operator (who sounded like she would rather be chewing lead paint) confirmed that all packages were shipped to Syracuse.)
The follow dialogue is that of Jenn on the phone with the customer service rep at FedEx. Pretty sure Jenn ruined/made her day. She does have that kind of power…
FedEx: Hi my name is__(Jenn never really pays attention to names)____. How can I help you?
Jenn: Yea, hi. I need some help, or somebody is about to have a really bad day. (kind of laughing) I have two separate confirmation numbers for 1 order, and I need to figure out where my shipment is actually going.
FedEx: Sure, I can help you with that. What is the tracking number?
Jenn: Well, I have two, but I will give you the one sent to me in an email directly from FedEx.
(after a few numbers were punched into her system, the rep confirms that the package is definitely arriving at Jenn’s doorstep, in Tampa.)
Jenn: Ok, well this cannot happen. This needs to be changed.
FedEx: Ma’am, the package is already en route to Tampa, and it cannot be changed at this point.
Jenn: Ok, well remember when I said someone was about to have a really bad day? (Jenn starts cussing, turns into her irritable evil twin, and lights this lady up.)
After countless of her frustrations were expressed, Jenn says…”and besides, according to Overstock.com, the only thing being sent via FedEx, is a necklace for my mother- and I would be a real big asshole if I bought my mom a 32lb necklace!!”
FedEx: Ma’am…This package is not being sent from Overstock.com. It is being sent from a location in Las Vegas? A “Passion Parties International.”
Jenn: Oh my god.
FedEx: Ma’am?
Jenn: Yea, sorry about all this. Big mix up. That package should definitely come to Tampa. It is 32 lbs of vibrators and other adult toys. Thanks for your help, and have a great Christmas!
FedEx- (Sounding like she is about to fall out of her chair laughing) You too, Jennifer, glad we could figure this out. Enjoy your package!
Jenn recently got into the Adult Toy industry, and her giant starter kit was being mailed to her. This, right here, is why we love Jenn. So, if you need to set up a party- shoot Jenn an email
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5 Questions for December 27th, 2010
A new 5 Questions with a holiday hangover… And it’s cold… Damn… Let’s do this!
Question #1: I was bored as hell on Christmas day and flipping random channels. I came across a show about this gigantic Jesus statue (scroll to the end to see the pic), so I had to “Google it”. If you were going to make a “giant statue” of someone, who would it be and why? (Eric K. in Tampa)
Eric Prae: First a few questions for you sir:
1- You weren’t watching NBA on Christmas day??? You knew it was Kobe/LeBron?
2- These people think they are original? They have heard of Mount Rushmore?
3- You knew that Jenn’s answer to this question would be herself, right?
If the statue was going to be in my driveway, it would have to be of Tux Struggle, in honor of him being the best looking Struggle Bus member. Other people that matter most in my life and deserve a giant statue: Dr. Gregory House M.D., Trick Daddy, Carmelo Anthony (wearing a Syracuse jersey, not a Nuggets jersey).
I would probably end up just constructing a huge statue of a penis, hooking a huge American flag to it, and then refusing to take it down and calling any of my neighbors that complained “unpatriotic” and “terrorists”.
Jenn B.: Eric knows me, and knows I'm narcissistic. Of course it would be a statue of me.
Question #2: Have you seen those absolutely terrible Disaronno commercials where some dude with a lisp tells us how to mix Disaronno and Ginger ale? Maybe tomorrow they can tell us how to make peanut butter and jelly? (Abby in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: I didn’t know how to answer this question, so I decided to tell you how to make a real drink (and subsequently do it three times before I finished 5 Questions):
First take out a glass. Pack it full of ice. Put in two shots of Crown Royal. Drink it. Be happy. Throw out your Disaronno and your television remote.
Jenn B.: The guy on those commercials is ridiculously good looking. Hell, I'd let his sweet ass show me how to tie my shoes.
And, can I please fill you all in on the fact that when at home, Eric does measure out two shots into each drink. Vag.
I prefer to have my drinks 70/30. 70% Jameson/ 30% Jameson. And no- I don't measure.
Question #3: The 33 Chilean miners that were trapped underground are going to Disney World. What’s worse, being trapped underground or waiting in line at Disney World? (Mark in Tampa)
Eric Prae: After listening to “it’s a small world after all” twice they will be looking for a hole in the ground to climb in.
Jenn B.: See, this is exactly why I don't watch television (unless it's Jersey Shore or a House marathon). THIS is what makes the news? Maybe I'll fall into a well or something, I've really been wanting to go to Coney Island.
Question #4: My family watches “A Christmas Story” on marathon EVERY CHRISTMAS. What dumb stuff did you do?
Eric Prae: This is embarrassing, but after spending my Christmas morning enjoying the beach, I had Tux the puppy open presents. I tried to explain to him what Christmas was, he didn’t get it. But he did understand that he scored a lot of cool new stuff and seemed happy. To make me gayer, I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to people like he is my kid.
You can laugh at that. But it is WAY better than watching A Christmas Story on loop for 8 hours.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
I was at the liquor store stocking up on some “holiday cheer”, when I was approached by “wine specialist”, or “wine douche” as I call him.
Wine Douche: Hi! I see you have made a few selections. Have you ever thought of upgrading to this brand (holding up some expensive bottle of wine.)
Eric Prae: No, I’m good. Thanks
Wine Douche: But why would you drive a Toyota when you can drive a Mercedes???
Eric Prae: THAT is your go to sales pitch? You know the only difference between my $5 bottle and your $50 bottle of wine?
Wine Douche: What?
Eric Prae: $45. That’s it. I am buying a couple bottles of wine because I was invited to some nice dinners over the holidays and I need to bring a bottle to open.
Wine Douche: But don’t you think that the nice people who invited you to dinner would appreciate a nicer bottle of wine?
Eric Prae: No! If they knew the difference between these bottles, I wouldn’t hang out with them. They would be wine douches like you.
(You think that would have gotten “Wine Douche” off my back. You’d be wrong)
Wine Douche: OK sir. But why did you pick that specific brand?
Eric Prae: It had a cork in it and it was cheap. There are cheaper bottles, but they have twist off tops and I’m not going to a trailer park.
Wine Douche: Here is how I am going to change your mind. Let me take you over here for a tasting of each of the wines that we are offering for a low $50. Then we can crack a bottle of the wine you want to purchase and compare.
Eric Prae: Now you are talking my language.
20 minutes later I had drank a lot of wine. It all tasted the same: free and delicious! We even drank half of the bottle of the $5 swill I picked out.
Wine Douche: So, have I convinced you?
Eric Prae: No, I’ll take the $5 wine bottle. But I do appreciate the free drinks. I got to run, there is an NCIS marathon starting and I need to finish this buzz at home with some Crown Royal!
Wine Douche just sat there, wondering what he did wrong.
The answer: his bottle was $50, mine was $5. Simple math sir.
That is how you struggle
Question #1: I was bored as hell on Christmas day and flipping random channels. I came across a show about this gigantic Jesus statue (scroll to the end to see the pic), so I had to “Google it”. If you were going to make a “giant statue” of someone, who would it be and why? (Eric K. in Tampa)
Eric Prae: First a few questions for you sir:
1- You weren’t watching NBA on Christmas day??? You knew it was Kobe/LeBron?
2- These people think they are original? They have heard of Mount Rushmore?
3- You knew that Jenn’s answer to this question would be herself, right?
If the statue was going to be in my driveway, it would have to be of Tux Struggle, in honor of him being the best looking Struggle Bus member. Other people that matter most in my life and deserve a giant statue: Dr. Gregory House M.D., Trick Daddy, Carmelo Anthony (wearing a Syracuse jersey, not a Nuggets jersey).
I would probably end up just constructing a huge statue of a penis, hooking a huge American flag to it, and then refusing to take it down and calling any of my neighbors that complained “unpatriotic” and “terrorists”.
Jenn B.: Eric knows me, and knows I'm narcissistic. Of course it would be a statue of me.
Question #2: Have you seen those absolutely terrible Disaronno commercials where some dude with a lisp tells us how to mix Disaronno and Ginger ale? Maybe tomorrow they can tell us how to make peanut butter and jelly? (Abby in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: I didn’t know how to answer this question, so I decided to tell you how to make a real drink (and subsequently do it three times before I finished 5 Questions):
First take out a glass. Pack it full of ice. Put in two shots of Crown Royal. Drink it. Be happy. Throw out your Disaronno and your television remote.
Jenn B.: The guy on those commercials is ridiculously good looking. Hell, I'd let his sweet ass show me how to tie my shoes.
And, can I please fill you all in on the fact that when at home, Eric does measure out two shots into each drink. Vag.
I prefer to have my drinks 70/30. 70% Jameson/ 30% Jameson. And no- I don't measure.
Question #3: The 33 Chilean miners that were trapped underground are going to Disney World. What’s worse, being trapped underground or waiting in line at Disney World? (Mark in Tampa)
Eric Prae: After listening to “it’s a small world after all” twice they will be looking for a hole in the ground to climb in.
Jenn B.: See, this is exactly why I don't watch television (unless it's Jersey Shore or a House marathon). THIS is what makes the news? Maybe I'll fall into a well or something, I've really been wanting to go to Coney Island.
Question #4: My family watches “A Christmas Story” on marathon EVERY CHRISTMAS. What dumb stuff did you do?
Eric Prae: This is embarrassing, but after spending my Christmas morning enjoying the beach, I had Tux the puppy open presents. I tried to explain to him what Christmas was, he didn’t get it. But he did understand that he scored a lot of cool new stuff and seemed happy. To make me gayer, I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to people like he is my kid.
You can laugh at that. But it is WAY better than watching A Christmas Story on loop for 8 hours.
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
I was at the liquor store stocking up on some “holiday cheer”, when I was approached by “wine specialist”, or “wine douche” as I call him.
Wine Douche: Hi! I see you have made a few selections. Have you ever thought of upgrading to this brand (holding up some expensive bottle of wine.)
Eric Prae: No, I’m good. Thanks
Wine Douche: But why would you drive a Toyota when you can drive a Mercedes???
Eric Prae: THAT is your go to sales pitch? You know the only difference between my $5 bottle and your $50 bottle of wine?
Wine Douche: What?
Eric Prae: $45. That’s it. I am buying a couple bottles of wine because I was invited to some nice dinners over the holidays and I need to bring a bottle to open.
Wine Douche: But don’t you think that the nice people who invited you to dinner would appreciate a nicer bottle of wine?
Eric Prae: No! If they knew the difference between these bottles, I wouldn’t hang out with them. They would be wine douches like you.
(You think that would have gotten “Wine Douche” off my back. You’d be wrong)
Wine Douche: OK sir. But why did you pick that specific brand?
Eric Prae: It had a cork in it and it was cheap. There are cheaper bottles, but they have twist off tops and I’m not going to a trailer park.
Wine Douche: Here is how I am going to change your mind. Let me take you over here for a tasting of each of the wines that we are offering for a low $50. Then we can crack a bottle of the wine you want to purchase and compare.
Eric Prae: Now you are talking my language.
20 minutes later I had drank a lot of wine. It all tasted the same: free and delicious! We even drank half of the bottle of the $5 swill I picked out.
Wine Douche: So, have I convinced you?
Eric Prae: No, I’ll take the $5 wine bottle. But I do appreciate the free drinks. I got to run, there is an NCIS marathon starting and I need to finish this buzz at home with some Crown Royal!
Wine Douche just sat there, wondering what he did wrong.
The answer: his bottle was $50, mine was $5. Simple math sir.
That is how you struggle
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5 Questions for December 20th, 2010
A very cold day here in Tampa. Weather’s cold. Dolphins lost. Buccaneers lost. Damn.
But we got 5 Questions!!!!! Let’s do this!
Question #1: Jenn- First Yankee fans spit at Cliff Lee’s wife and he signs elsewhere, now they are guilty of sending terrible internet threats to a guy named Matt Dodge, because they thought he was the punter for the Giants. THEY WERE SENDING THREATS TO THE WRONG GUY!!! Why are New York sports fans so stupid? (Matt in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Look, I’m from Upstate NY also. Let me try to help here.
First off: It’s very cold in NY right now. This can restrict some of the blood flow from the brain.
Second off: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yankee fans are soooooo stupid! You want Cliff Lee? How about you go spit on his wife? That won’t piss her off! That won’t get back to him! They probably don’t talk! How dumb can you be? And stop spitting at people! Douche-bags! Don’t you have any manners?
LeBron ditched you for sunshine. That’s understandable. But Cliff Lee ditched you for Philadelphia? You’ve seen Philadelphia right? Gross. Stop spitting at people or they will leave you- for Philadelphia!!!
Cliff Lee ditching you for Philadelphia is like your girlfriend dumping you because you are a big fat smelly loser for a bigger fatter smelly loser, all because he doesn’t spit on people.
Third off: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Giants fans are soooooo stupid! I was going to tell them to not send death threats to the wrong people. But instead- how about we don’t send death threats to ANYONE! It’s the fucking holidays! RELAX! Where’s your Christmas cheer?
Jenn B.: Dear Matt in Tampa- Fuck you. Who ever told you that you were allowed to have an opinion? So what!- we are really passionate fans. I won’t even entertain this question any longer with my “severely more intelligent than you” words of advice.
And, Eric- at least the fan’s of my teams have the opportunity to hate on people- Cliff Lee would piss on a contract offer from Tampa Bay, even if $100k a year seems like a good paycheck to them. And, who beat your Dolphins yesterday? I forgot? Can you remind us all again? At least my team got beat by someone relevant. The guy killed dogs for the love of Christ, my boys in blue can’t fuck with that!
Eric Prae: If Cliff Lee played for Tampa Bay, his wife wouldn’t get spit on… Because no one here would know who he is, or care enough to go to the games.
Question #2: What is the best/worst gift you gave this season? (Joanna in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Herpes…
Jusssssssst Kidding! But was funny right? …Right? …Come on! …Laugh!!!
Jenn B.: Worst gift- I gave my boyfriend a “break up text” for his gift. I am an awful person, but is anyone really that surprised?
Best gift- I gave the men of Tampa the gift of me being back on the market… you’re welcome J And, if you think about it, breaking up with the guy should be looked at as a great gift for him- he doesn’t have to wonder what personality he is going to be dating each day…so, you know who you are- you’re welcome!
Question #3: My boyfriend is mad about traveling for Christmas because of some stupid pat-down and scan. Please tell him he is a loser! (Nicole in NYC)
Eric Prae: I got the scan and pat-down when I traveled for Thanksgiving. It was nice. Nothing like getting a little “strange” in the morning! The guy patting me down was a huge black man. It made Jenn really jealous.
Listen boyfriend- By being born in the land of the free, you are lucky enough to be able to travel wherever you want, whenever you want. If we all have to deal with a 20 second pat down to make sure some asshole doesn’t try to blow up the plane, then that’s what we have to do. At least you don’t have to travel over Christmas to deal with your girlfriend’s crappy family… Oh wait… Is that where you’re going? That sucks. Enjoy the pat down!
Jenn B.: I planted electronic devices all over my body in hopes that I would get some free ass grabs. Stupid Eric’s hearing aids looked more dangerous than my homemade sneaker bombs. Fuck.
Question #4: I met a guy, he is like 42. I am 25. He looks and acts WAY younger, but now that I know his real age, what should I do?
Jenn B.: Please, tell me it took you going on your first trip down the Saggy Ball Super Highway to discover his real age? If he is rich, stay with him and get pregnant. If he is not rich, then what the hell are you doing with him in the first place?
Eric Prae: Give him a chance!!! (I am getting this guy’s back because I will definitely be the old, creepy, 42 year old trying to score because no one would marry me.)
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: Here is a conversation that Jenn and I had over the phone last week:
(Phone rings)
Eric Prae: Hey, what’s up?
Jenn B.: Are you home?
Eric Prae: Ya, why?
Jenn B.: Because you are a total asshole who can’t spell!!! Go on the Struggle Bus and fix that question I gave you to post. You’re making me look like a moron! I have gotten like 1000 texts and Facebook messages that I spelled “absolutely” wrong!!!
Eric Prae: Oh. How do you spell absolutely?
Jenn B.: With and “E” dipshit! You know an “E”. I will use “E” in a sentence for you: “Eric is an asshole who can’t spell absolutely”!
Eric Prae: How did I spell it?
Jenn B.: Like the alcohol Absolut Vodka. You drunk…
Eric Prae: You mean “Absolut” is spelled wrong??? You should email them! They might want to know that…
Jenn B.: UGGGGGGG!
(I will always keep a conversation going and ask more questions to see when Jenn hits her tipping point)
Eric Prae: So where does the “E” go???
Jenn B.: AFTER THE “T” AND BEFORE THE “LY”!!!!
Eric Prae: Wait… There is more than one “L” in absolutely?
Jenn B.: YOU’RE A WRITER!!! THIS CONVERSATION IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
Eric Prae: I have good editing. You should learn how to spell so you don’t look so dumb on the Struggle Bus front page.
Jenn B.: YOU WROTE IT!!! YOU POSTED IT!!!
Eric Prae: It was your question. You should have figured I didn’t know how to spell absolutely. It’s a big word. Way to look dumb Bellso!
Jenn B.: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!
Eric Prae: You should learn how to spell first.
Jenn B.: SCREW YOU!!! (Hangs up)
That’s how you make Jenn mad. That’s how you struggle!
But we got 5 Questions!!!!! Let’s do this!
Question #1: Jenn- First Yankee fans spit at Cliff Lee’s wife and he signs elsewhere, now they are guilty of sending terrible internet threats to a guy named Matt Dodge, because they thought he was the punter for the Giants. THEY WERE SENDING THREATS TO THE WRONG GUY!!! Why are New York sports fans so stupid? (Matt in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Look, I’m from Upstate NY also. Let me try to help here.
First off: It’s very cold in NY right now. This can restrict some of the blood flow from the brain.
Second off: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yankee fans are soooooo stupid! You want Cliff Lee? How about you go spit on his wife? That won’t piss her off! That won’t get back to him! They probably don’t talk! How dumb can you be? And stop spitting at people! Douche-bags! Don’t you have any manners?
LeBron ditched you for sunshine. That’s understandable. But Cliff Lee ditched you for Philadelphia? You’ve seen Philadelphia right? Gross. Stop spitting at people or they will leave you- for Philadelphia!!!
Cliff Lee ditching you for Philadelphia is like your girlfriend dumping you because you are a big fat smelly loser for a bigger fatter smelly loser, all because he doesn’t spit on people.
Third off: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Giants fans are soooooo stupid! I was going to tell them to not send death threats to the wrong people. But instead- how about we don’t send death threats to ANYONE! It’s the fucking holidays! RELAX! Where’s your Christmas cheer?
Jenn B.: Dear Matt in Tampa- Fuck you. Who ever told you that you were allowed to have an opinion? So what!- we are really passionate fans. I won’t even entertain this question any longer with my “severely more intelligent than you” words of advice.
And, Eric- at least the fan’s of my teams have the opportunity to hate on people- Cliff Lee would piss on a contract offer from Tampa Bay, even if $100k a year seems like a good paycheck to them. And, who beat your Dolphins yesterday? I forgot? Can you remind us all again? At least my team got beat by someone relevant. The guy killed dogs for the love of Christ, my boys in blue can’t fuck with that!
Eric Prae: If Cliff Lee played for Tampa Bay, his wife wouldn’t get spit on… Because no one here would know who he is, or care enough to go to the games.
Question #2: What is the best/worst gift you gave this season? (Joanna in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Herpes…
Jusssssssst Kidding! But was funny right? …Right? …Come on! …Laugh!!!
Jenn B.: Worst gift- I gave my boyfriend a “break up text” for his gift. I am an awful person, but is anyone really that surprised?
Best gift- I gave the men of Tampa the gift of me being back on the market… you’re welcome J And, if you think about it, breaking up with the guy should be looked at as a great gift for him- he doesn’t have to wonder what personality he is going to be dating each day…so, you know who you are- you’re welcome!
Question #3: My boyfriend is mad about traveling for Christmas because of some stupid pat-down and scan. Please tell him he is a loser! (Nicole in NYC)
Eric Prae: I got the scan and pat-down when I traveled for Thanksgiving. It was nice. Nothing like getting a little “strange” in the morning! The guy patting me down was a huge black man. It made Jenn really jealous.
Listen boyfriend- By being born in the land of the free, you are lucky enough to be able to travel wherever you want, whenever you want. If we all have to deal with a 20 second pat down to make sure some asshole doesn’t try to blow up the plane, then that’s what we have to do. At least you don’t have to travel over Christmas to deal with your girlfriend’s crappy family… Oh wait… Is that where you’re going? That sucks. Enjoy the pat down!
Jenn B.: I planted electronic devices all over my body in hopes that I would get some free ass grabs. Stupid Eric’s hearing aids looked more dangerous than my homemade sneaker bombs. Fuck.
Question #4: I met a guy, he is like 42. I am 25. He looks and acts WAY younger, but now that I know his real age, what should I do?
Jenn B.: Please, tell me it took you going on your first trip down the Saggy Ball Super Highway to discover his real age? If he is rich, stay with him and get pregnant. If he is not rich, then what the hell are you doing with him in the first place?
Eric Prae: Give him a chance!!! (I am getting this guy’s back because I will definitely be the old, creepy, 42 year old trying to score because no one would marry me.)
Question #5: For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week! Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.
Eric Prae: Here is a conversation that Jenn and I had over the phone last week:
(Phone rings)
Eric Prae: Hey, what’s up?
Jenn B.: Are you home?
Eric Prae: Ya, why?
Jenn B.: Because you are a total asshole who can’t spell!!! Go on the Struggle Bus and fix that question I gave you to post. You’re making me look like a moron! I have gotten like 1000 texts and Facebook messages that I spelled “absolutely” wrong!!!
Eric Prae: Oh. How do you spell absolutely?
Jenn B.: With and “E” dipshit! You know an “E”. I will use “E” in a sentence for you: “Eric is an asshole who can’t spell absolutely”!
Eric Prae: How did I spell it?
Jenn B.: Like the alcohol Absolut Vodka. You drunk…
Eric Prae: You mean “Absolut” is spelled wrong??? You should email them! They might want to know that…
Jenn B.: UGGGGGGG!
(I will always keep a conversation going and ask more questions to see when Jenn hits her tipping point)
Eric Prae: So where does the “E” go???
Jenn B.: AFTER THE “T” AND BEFORE THE “LY”!!!!
Eric Prae: Wait… There is more than one “L” in absolutely?
Jenn B.: YOU’RE A WRITER!!! THIS CONVERSATION IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
Eric Prae: I have good editing. You should learn how to spell so you don’t look so dumb on the Struggle Bus front page.
Jenn B.: YOU WROTE IT!!! YOU POSTED IT!!!
Eric Prae: It was your question. You should have figured I didn’t know how to spell absolutely. It’s a big word. Way to look dumb Bellso!
Jenn B.: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!
Eric Prae: You should learn how to spell first.
Jenn B.: SCREW YOU!!! (Hangs up)
That’s how you make Jenn mad. That’s how you struggle!
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5 Questions for December 13th, 2010
We had a lot of “technical difficulties” last week. Sorry. So here is 5 Questions for 12/13/10 if you missed it! Thanks for reading
Question #1: Eric & Jenn, when are you doing stand up again? (Jo in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Wow, what a timely question. It’s almost like we wanted you to ask that one. Well we just got booked yesterday to do the Tampa Improv on January 30th!!! I’ll be up there as usual and JENN WILL MAKE HER FIRST STAND UP APPEARANCE! It will be awesome. Tickets are being printed this week, email us and we will get you some!
Question #2: Jenn- I read all of these stories about you and crazy men- Do you ever worry about one kidnapping you or trying to retaliate in some way? (Cindy in Syracuse)
Eric Prae: She nags the guy to death, escapes and then writes a best seller about it.
Jenn B.: I am not too worried. If you noticed- most the men lack the average amount of brain cells, so I think I could outsmart most, if not all, of them. But, if all else fails, I would yell, “Take the Ginger! I have so many more lives to ruin!”
Question #3: Since I'm approaching 30, I can't just throw chicks over my shoulder and yell out “I want this one” like I used to. A lot of times I just want the other side of the bed to be warm. Is there a way to lure chicks into snuggling with you without them freaking out about wanting sex or what? (Mike “the Cowboy” in Rochester, NY)
Jenn B.: Two things that I like about this guy immediately- his name is “Cowboy” and he is barbaric and likes to toss women over his shoulder. You like warm beds? Get a heated blanket. I would be really pissed if a man named “Cowboy” brought me home, and wanted to “snuggle.”
Eric Prae: So before you were 30 it was totally cool to just throw them over your shoulder??? I’m only 28, so ladies of South Tampa, get ready to be thrown over my shoulder!!!
I usually try talking to women as a normal human being. If that doesn’t work, get them blackout drunk.
Question #4: Every movie coming to theaters is in 3D and also absolute crap. Give me the next great 3D movie plot. (Matt in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: 3D??? I can’t handle high def yet! Have you ever seen Larry King in high def? Nasty!!! HD TV absolutely ruined Sportscenter. I didn’t mind gross looking women doing sports highlights until I got a 50 inch HD TV and Linda Cohn scared the dog away from the television. Also, don’t look at Danica Patrick too closely in high def, you will go blind.
To answer your question: Since “Tron” was an epic failure and that is getting re-made, I say that Hollywood just re-does EVERY horrible movie that totally bombed in 3D! You hated “Pocket Ninjas” the first time??? It will be worse in 3D! Never saw “Phat Girlz” in 2006? Let’s remake it! In 3D! Is Stallone still alive? I think we need to do “Rocky 5” over in 3D. How about “Kazaam”? Shaq’s big ass would look GREAT in 3D!
Jenn B.: I write short stories and stand up jokes about black men. Do I seem at all qualified to write a movie plot? You’re lucky you get 1,000 coherent words out of me. Stop making me think.
Question #5: What is the worst Christmas song ever??? (Brian in Fort Myers)
Jenn B.: All of them. Here is an example: “White Christmas”- people from where Eric and I are from, are doing anything but praying for anymore snow. That song is a lie. They should make a new song called, “I’m Dreaming of Living in Any Other Part of the Country.”
And another: “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”- Have you EVER tasted one of those things? My grandfather eats them, and I wonder if in your old age, you lose your ability to taste? That song can go ahead and be renamed to “Piles of Fecal Matter Roasting on an Open Fire.”
Eric Prae: Anything by Mariah Carey. If I was president I would completely outlaw the Mariah Carey Christmas album. And now she is coming out with a second one??? I just threw out my hearing aids.
Question #1: Eric & Jenn, when are you doing stand up again? (Jo in Tampa)
Eric Prae: Wow, what a timely question. It’s almost like we wanted you to ask that one. Well we just got booked yesterday to do the Tampa Improv on January 30th!!! I’ll be up there as usual and JENN WILL MAKE HER FIRST STAND UP APPEARANCE! It will be awesome. Tickets are being printed this week, email us and we will get you some!
Question #2: Jenn- I read all of these stories about you and crazy men- Do you ever worry about one kidnapping you or trying to retaliate in some way? (Cindy in Syracuse)
Eric Prae: She nags the guy to death, escapes and then writes a best seller about it.
Jenn B.: I am not too worried. If you noticed- most the men lack the average amount of brain cells, so I think I could outsmart most, if not all, of them. But, if all else fails, I would yell, “Take the Ginger! I have so many more lives to ruin!”
Question #3: Since I'm approaching 30, I can't just throw chicks over my shoulder and yell out “I want this one” like I used to. A lot of times I just want the other side of the bed to be warm. Is there a way to lure chicks into snuggling with you without them freaking out about wanting sex or what? (Mike “the Cowboy” in Rochester, NY)
Jenn B.: Two things that I like about this guy immediately- his name is “Cowboy” and he is barbaric and likes to toss women over his shoulder. You like warm beds? Get a heated blanket. I would be really pissed if a man named “Cowboy” brought me home, and wanted to “snuggle.”
Eric Prae: So before you were 30 it was totally cool to just throw them over your shoulder??? I’m only 28, so ladies of South Tampa, get ready to be thrown over my shoulder!!!
I usually try talking to women as a normal human being. If that doesn’t work, get them blackout drunk.
Question #4: Every movie coming to theaters is in 3D and also absolute crap. Give me the next great 3D movie plot. (Matt in St. Pete)
Eric Prae: 3D??? I can’t handle high def yet! Have you ever seen Larry King in high def? Nasty!!! HD TV absolutely ruined Sportscenter. I didn’t mind gross looking women doing sports highlights until I got a 50 inch HD TV and Linda Cohn scared the dog away from the television. Also, don’t look at Danica Patrick too closely in high def, you will go blind.
To answer your question: Since “Tron” was an epic failure and that is getting re-made, I say that Hollywood just re-does EVERY horrible movie that totally bombed in 3D! You hated “Pocket Ninjas” the first time??? It will be worse in 3D! Never saw “Phat Girlz” in 2006? Let’s remake it! In 3D! Is Stallone still alive? I think we need to do “Rocky 5” over in 3D. How about “Kazaam”? Shaq’s big ass would look GREAT in 3D!
Jenn B.: I write short stories and stand up jokes about black men. Do I seem at all qualified to write a movie plot? You’re lucky you get 1,000 coherent words out of me. Stop making me think.
Question #5: What is the worst Christmas song ever??? (Brian in Fort Myers)
Jenn B.: All of them. Here is an example: “White Christmas”- people from where Eric and I are from, are doing anything but praying for anymore snow. That song is a lie. They should make a new song called, “I’m Dreaming of Living in Any Other Part of the Country.”
And another: “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”- Have you EVER tasted one of those things? My grandfather eats them, and I wonder if in your old age, you lose your ability to taste? That song can go ahead and be renamed to “Piles of Fecal Matter Roasting on an Open Fire.”
Eric Prae: Anything by Mariah Carey. If I was president I would completely outlaw the Mariah Carey Christmas album. And now she is coming out with a second one??? I just threw out my hearing aids.
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Team Struggle
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Don't forget to comment at the end!!!
Don't forget to comment at the end!!!