Do you need more internet stupidity? We give you: Craigslist Failures!
August 2010
Without our readers Team Struggle would be very lost. They email in questions for 5 Questions. They shame their friends and send us Facebook Offenders. Most of them email us pleasantries. Some of them tell us we suck. On two occasions, females have emailed in pictures of their titties (a tradition we need to keep going). We LOVE getting your emails. This website is a team sport.
So today we debut a great segment inspired by a reader email. I give you: Craigslist Failures!!!
Don't forget to leave your comments at the bottom!
So today we debut a great segment inspired by a reader email. I give you: Craigslist Failures!!!
Don't forget to leave your comments at the bottom!
Submitted by Team Struggle
The Struggle Bus 2010 ©
The Struggle Bus 2010 ©
Eric Prae
Jenn B.
This page has all the Craigslist Failures from August 2010. To see all other months check out:
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Craigslist Failure: You Slept In My Bed Last Night
posted 8/31/10
Today’s Craigslist Failure comes from Hugo in South Florida! He writes:
Team Struggle: I saw this on Craigslist and instantly thought about your site. I have Struggle on the brain.
You slept in my bed last night - m4w
Date: 2010-01-31, 9:39AM EST
ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.
YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.
ME: Strangely bemused, but too tired and distracted by other women in my head to care.
YOU: Gone this morning when I woke up.
ME: Trying to determine from roommates who you were, but they have no clue (they really aren't too conscious right now and think I am lying).
If you attended what must have been a great party last night (I can tell from the mess) and slept in some guys bed then please poke me back, I have some things here that might be yours. Also, let me know if you will be back tonight and I will change the sheets.
Finally, thank you for not taking my side of the bed, THAT would have been awkward.
Jenn B.: You caught me. Now what's all this talk about poking? And what a gentlemen! All that stuff about changing the sheets...Prince Charming. Oh, and you have "some things" that may be mine? Does one of them happen to be my dignity? Or how about my self-respect? Did you find those?
Eric Prae: I think I have a new favorite pick-up line: Let me know if you will be back, I’ll change the sheets!
Thanks for the submission Hugo!
Team Struggle: I saw this on Craigslist and instantly thought about your site. I have Struggle on the brain.
You slept in my bed last night - m4w
Date: 2010-01-31, 9:39AM EST
ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.
YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.
ME: Strangely bemused, but too tired and distracted by other women in my head to care.
YOU: Gone this morning when I woke up.
ME: Trying to determine from roommates who you were, but they have no clue (they really aren't too conscious right now and think I am lying).
If you attended what must have been a great party last night (I can tell from the mess) and slept in some guys bed then please poke me back, I have some things here that might be yours. Also, let me know if you will be back tonight and I will change the sheets.
Finally, thank you for not taking my side of the bed, THAT would have been awkward.
- Location: Decatur
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Jenn B.: You caught me. Now what's all this talk about poking? And what a gentlemen! All that stuff about changing the sheets...Prince Charming. Oh, and you have "some things" that may be mine? Does one of them happen to be my dignity? Or how about my self-respect? Did you find those?
Eric Prae: I think I have a new favorite pick-up line: Let me know if you will be back, I’ll change the sheets!
Thanks for the submission Hugo!
Craigslist Failure: Looking for a Beard Mentor
posted 8/26/10
Today’s Craigslist Failure comes from Matty G in NY. He writes:
Yo Team Struggle: I found someone on Craigslist who needs some help! This is some serious business or he gets fired. Put him on your website to get him some exposure.
Looking for a beard mentor
Date: 2010-03-04, 3:40PM CST
I've had a moustache and beard off and on over the years, and I've tried styling it in the past but I just can't seem to get it to the next level. I'm looking for some srs protips with this, as well as possibly some styling services by someone with skilled hands. Please submit to me your beard/moustache resume. Also if you have pictures of you achievements that would be greatly appreciated.
I'm currently having trouble with getting my handlebar working correctly as well as keeping the sideburns even.
This is 'srs bsns' (serious business) as I've been informed I need to style it up, shave it off, or loose my job. (I work in adult daycare.)
Jenn B.: First of all, in response to his last comment... WTF is adult daycare, and how do I get involved? Usually Eric is my prime caretaker when we go out, but I am almost positive that he would be willing to hire someone else to take on this grueling task...
Secondly, if this guy needs help grooming his disgusting facial hair, I am pretty sure that he still has his mother lay his clothes out in the morning for him before going to work... Man child...
Eric Prae: Please, please, please will one of our hairy readers send this guy a picture of them grooming their hairy back and ass? Your handlebars aren’t working correctly sir because handlebar mustaches don’t work period. Even if I had “skilled hands”, I don’t think I want to touch your face, sorry.
Thanks for the submission Matty!
Yo Team Struggle: I found someone on Craigslist who needs some help! This is some serious business or he gets fired. Put him on your website to get him some exposure.
Looking for a beard mentor
Date: 2010-03-04, 3:40PM CST
I've had a moustache and beard off and on over the years, and I've tried styling it in the past but I just can't seem to get it to the next level. I'm looking for some srs protips with this, as well as possibly some styling services by someone with skilled hands. Please submit to me your beard/moustache resume. Also if you have pictures of you achievements that would be greatly appreciated.
I'm currently having trouble with getting my handlebar working correctly as well as keeping the sideburns even.
This is 'srs bsns' (serious business) as I've been informed I need to style it up, shave it off, or loose my job. (I work in adult daycare.)
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
- Compensation: negotiable depending on services
Jenn B.: First of all, in response to his last comment... WTF is adult daycare, and how do I get involved? Usually Eric is my prime caretaker when we go out, but I am almost positive that he would be willing to hire someone else to take on this grueling task...
Secondly, if this guy needs help grooming his disgusting facial hair, I am pretty sure that he still has his mother lay his clothes out in the morning for him before going to work... Man child...
Eric Prae: Please, please, please will one of our hairy readers send this guy a picture of them grooming their hairy back and ass? Your handlebars aren’t working correctly sir because handlebar mustaches don’t work period. Even if I had “skilled hands”, I don’t think I want to touch your face, sorry.
Thanks for the submission Matty!
Craigslist Failure: Take a Few Pictures for Cash
posted 8/24/10
Today’s Craigslist failure comes from April in St. Pete Beach, FL. She writes:
Team Struggle, love the website! Here is a great Craigslist Failure. If I only lived in Cleveland I could be $80 richer!
Take a few pictures for cash (female)
Date: 2010-02-20, 3:49PM EST
Looking for a good looking girl, ages 18-25 to take a few pictures with me. In medical school. Went through a bad breakup and told my parents I had a new girlfriend so they'd leave me alone.
Pay is $80. Totally clothed. Take a few pictures. Done in 5 minutes. $80. Attach picture and I will respond. No travel required.
Jenn B.: My initial gut reaction to this headline was "ew, pervert." Then after reading further into the ad, my feelings moved more towards, "ew, pathetic." This little yuppie med student couldn't find a study buddy to take pictures with? If he needs to pay a good looking girl to pose in a photo, and act like his girlfriend... then I don't think he needs to worry about them being good looking. I am pretty sure that his parents are aware that he is a douche, and can't attract a good looking female in the first place.
Eric Prae: Jenn, you’re being WAY too hard on this poor guy. I think he is brilliant. So now I am looking for a good looking woman with a few cute kids I can take pictures with so my family will get off my back about being 28 and unmarried. I pay in bad penis jokes, rays of sunshine and perfectly executed chest bumps. I might even blow up your fist pound if the kids are extra cute.
Team Struggle, love the website! Here is a great Craigslist Failure. If I only lived in Cleveland I could be $80 richer!
Take a few pictures for cash (female)
Date: 2010-02-20, 3:49PM EST
Looking for a good looking girl, ages 18-25 to take a few pictures with me. In medical school. Went through a bad breakup and told my parents I had a new girlfriend so they'd leave me alone.
Pay is $80. Totally clothed. Take a few pictures. Done in 5 minutes. $80. Attach picture and I will respond. No travel required.
- Location: Cleveland/surrounding
- Compensation: $80
- This is a contract job.
- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
- Please, no phone calls about this job!
- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Jenn B.: My initial gut reaction to this headline was "ew, pervert." Then after reading further into the ad, my feelings moved more towards, "ew, pathetic." This little yuppie med student couldn't find a study buddy to take pictures with? If he needs to pay a good looking girl to pose in a photo, and act like his girlfriend... then I don't think he needs to worry about them being good looking. I am pretty sure that his parents are aware that he is a douche, and can't attract a good looking female in the first place.
Eric Prae: Jenn, you’re being WAY too hard on this poor guy. I think he is brilliant. So now I am looking for a good looking woman with a few cute kids I can take pictures with so my family will get off my back about being 28 and unmarried. I pay in bad penis jokes, rays of sunshine and perfectly executed chest bumps. I might even blow up your fist pound if the kids are extra cute.
Craigslist Failure: Guard Ducks
Posted 8/20/10
Today’s Craigslist Failure comes from Christopher in Tampa. He writes:
Team Struggle: I was on Craigslist and came across the next big thing for everyone in America to get excited about: Guard Ducks!!! Think about it, we could use them to patrol the border!
Insanely Aggressive, Territorial, Guard Duck, (Muscovy)
Date: 2010-01-26, 12:13PM PST
Hello.
This posting is about "MR. DUCKY." When he was a chick, he was my favorite out of the entire flock. He was one of the few ducks that would gently nibble on my finger. He would always let me pet him and feed him spinach. Now he has become a horrible monster of a duck. His nibble has turned into a skin-tearing instrument, his feet have turned into painful, skin-piercing talons. Anything moving in the yard that is non-duck, he attacks. He attacks raccoons. He attacks dogs. He attacks cats. Now he even attacks full grown humans, galloping around the yard with clipped wings like some sort of maniac. Sandals are out of the picture now, unless I want scabs on my feet. This was semi-tolerable for a while, but now he can inflict a fair amount of pain on my calf through my work jeans, and I can't get anything done in my back yard. So this is my ad. If you want a duck that will scare/maim/fight any animal that might be threatening your flock, MR. DUCKY is the craziest damn duck I have ever seen in my entire life. He is only friendly with ducks. I don't know about chickens, but he charges crows or other birds that land in the yard. He is a great guard duck. I have a newborn son that I want to have ten fingers growing up. $40 OBO, MR.DUCKY. Upon pickup, feel free to observe his behavior. He is one-of-a-kind.
Call: 253-[deleted] I live in Bremerton, will deliver.
Eric Prae: My favorite part: “now he has become a horrible monster of a duck”. That is my new phrase for Jenn every time she gets too drunk
Jenn B.: I’ve pissed off a lot of men recently, I wonder if Mr. Duck is leash trained?
Team Struggle: I was on Craigslist and came across the next big thing for everyone in America to get excited about: Guard Ducks!!! Think about it, we could use them to patrol the border!
Insanely Aggressive, Territorial, Guard Duck, (Muscovy)
Date: 2010-01-26, 12:13PM PST
Hello.
This posting is about "MR. DUCKY." When he was a chick, he was my favorite out of the entire flock. He was one of the few ducks that would gently nibble on my finger. He would always let me pet him and feed him spinach. Now he has become a horrible monster of a duck. His nibble has turned into a skin-tearing instrument, his feet have turned into painful, skin-piercing talons. Anything moving in the yard that is non-duck, he attacks. He attacks raccoons. He attacks dogs. He attacks cats. Now he even attacks full grown humans, galloping around the yard with clipped wings like some sort of maniac. Sandals are out of the picture now, unless I want scabs on my feet. This was semi-tolerable for a while, but now he can inflict a fair amount of pain on my calf through my work jeans, and I can't get anything done in my back yard. So this is my ad. If you want a duck that will scare/maim/fight any animal that might be threatening your flock, MR. DUCKY is the craziest damn duck I have ever seen in my entire life. He is only friendly with ducks. I don't know about chickens, but he charges crows or other birds that land in the yard. He is a great guard duck. I have a newborn son that I want to have ten fingers growing up. $40 OBO, MR.DUCKY. Upon pickup, feel free to observe his behavior. He is one-of-a-kind.
Call: 253-[deleted] I live in Bremerton, will deliver.
- Location: Bremerton
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Eric Prae: My favorite part: “now he has become a horrible monster of a duck”. That is my new phrase for Jenn every time she gets too drunk
Jenn B.: I’ve pissed off a lot of men recently, I wonder if Mr. Duck is leash trained?
Craigslist Failure: Once Upon a Hanson Fan
posted 8/19/10
Click on for larger image
This week Jenn found a Craigslist failure that not only is funny, but also gave her a chance to make fun of me. Enjoy
Once Upon A Hanson Fan
Date: 2009-12-05, 1:58PM PST
When I was fifteen, I really thought I'd marry Taylor Hanson. No, not just like every other fifteen-year-old Hanson fan, circa 1995, but REALLY.
Plan failed. Now I've found my old, embarrassing collection of Hanson crap and I want it out of my house. Here's what your new collection includes:
- Ten or so VHS tapes of Hanson appearances, including two official Hanson-released tour videos, "Tulsa, Tokyo & The Middle of Nowhere" & "The Road to Albertane." (My mother cannot be blamed for encouraging this obsession.)
- A cassette tape of Hanson radio interviews, songs, crap, etc. (I win for most devoted fan.)
- Four cd cases (cds not included) of their first-released albums. (Sorry, but I still rock out to their Christmas album, "Snowed In.")
- Two BIG albums FULL of Hanson clippings, posters, other crap, etc. (Except the one my mom tore up because I refused to sing my older sister "Happy Birthday" one year.)
If you or any of your "friends" love, once loved, or plan to eventually love this band, PLEASE take this stuff off my hand. It holds enough sentimental value that I don't want to just chuck it into my recyclables bin, and god knows Goodwill won't appreciate the hard work that went into this collection. I mean shit, if you even SORT OF like Hanson, or just want to give your boss the most awesome of joke gifts. TAKE IT. And immediately. I will hand it over happily. Even if you just want to see it all out of morbid curiosity and plan on giving it to a homeless person...
Well, no, don't do that. That's mean. Just take my crap.
Jenn B: Eric- Is this posting is screaming your name!? Every time we get in your car, you scramble to change CD because "Mmmm Bop!" is always in the player! And, you claim that you "like to work out" to Hanson because of the upbeat melodies spilling out of that creepy little lesbian-lookalike's mouth. In reality, I think you secretly wish you were the 4th Hanson brother, and you curse your near deafness because it has enabled you to be tone-deaf.
I know you would be all over it if they threw in a Hanson "action figure."
Eric Prae: OK, so maybe I replied to this post. Ans maybe I like Hanson a little. You got me. Screw you Jenn.
Once Upon A Hanson Fan
Date: 2009-12-05, 1:58PM PST
When I was fifteen, I really thought I'd marry Taylor Hanson. No, not just like every other fifteen-year-old Hanson fan, circa 1995, but REALLY.
Plan failed. Now I've found my old, embarrassing collection of Hanson crap and I want it out of my house. Here's what your new collection includes:
- Ten or so VHS tapes of Hanson appearances, including two official Hanson-released tour videos, "Tulsa, Tokyo & The Middle of Nowhere" & "The Road to Albertane." (My mother cannot be blamed for encouraging this obsession.)
- A cassette tape of Hanson radio interviews, songs, crap, etc. (I win for most devoted fan.)
- Four cd cases (cds not included) of their first-released albums. (Sorry, but I still rock out to their Christmas album, "Snowed In.")
- Two BIG albums FULL of Hanson clippings, posters, other crap, etc. (Except the one my mom tore up because I refused to sing my older sister "Happy Birthday" one year.)
If you or any of your "friends" love, once loved, or plan to eventually love this band, PLEASE take this stuff off my hand. It holds enough sentimental value that I don't want to just chuck it into my recyclables bin, and god knows Goodwill won't appreciate the hard work that went into this collection. I mean shit, if you even SORT OF like Hanson, or just want to give your boss the most awesome of joke gifts. TAKE IT. And immediately. I will hand it over happily. Even if you just want to see it all out of morbid curiosity and plan on giving it to a homeless person...
Well, no, don't do that. That's mean. Just take my crap.
Jenn B: Eric- Is this posting is screaming your name!? Every time we get in your car, you scramble to change CD because "Mmmm Bop!" is always in the player! And, you claim that you "like to work out" to Hanson because of the upbeat melodies spilling out of that creepy little lesbian-lookalike's mouth. In reality, I think you secretly wish you were the 4th Hanson brother, and you curse your near deafness because it has enabled you to be tone-deaf.
I know you would be all over it if they threw in a Hanson "action figure."
Eric Prae: OK, so maybe I replied to this post. Ans maybe I like Hanson a little. You got me. Screw you Jenn.
Craigslist Failures: Free Toilet!
posted 8/10/10
Click on for larger image
Here is a great Craigslist failure from Team Struggle. Enjoy!
free toilet, needs tlc
Date: 2010-02-24, 8:06PM EST
Could be fixed up. A little dirty, and it leaked and overflowed last time it was used. My son stuffed a action figure down it, so if anyone picks this up and fixes it, can you drop the action figure back off at my house? My son would really appreciate it. Thanks
Jenn B.: I will leave the sexual innuendos that could be implied from the beginning sentence of this ad.
I think this person may be falling on hard times in this economy though, I mean, requesting the return of a possible fecal matter-covered He-Man?
Eric Prae: Ummm… I think I will keep the action figure.
free toilet, needs tlc
Date: 2010-02-24, 8:06PM EST
Could be fixed up. A little dirty, and it leaked and overflowed last time it was used. My son stuffed a action figure down it, so if anyone picks this up and fixes it, can you drop the action figure back off at my house? My son would really appreciate it. Thanks
- Location: richmond
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Jenn B.: I will leave the sexual innuendos that could be implied from the beginning sentence of this ad.
I think this person may be falling on hard times in this economy though, I mean, requesting the return of a possible fecal matter-covered He-Man?
Eric Prae: Ummm… I think I will keep the action figure.
Craigslist Failures: Need to get Pregnant Fast!
posted 8/6/10
Today’s Craigslist failure comes again from Aaron C. in Syracuse, NY. He writes:
Eric, this AD was meant for you. Too bad you missed it. Or did you?
Need to get pregnant fast by clean educated man - w4m
Date: 2009-11-28, 8:32AM CST
Looking for a light skinned man to get me pregnant this coming weekend or early next week. You will need light brown blonde or red hair. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for months now and my doctor says I'm fine so it must be him--it would kill him not to have kids. Be drug and disease free. I figure we can try a couple of times while I'm visiting this week and hopefully I will be pregnant for my flight back home. Send a couple of pictures of yourself, especially want nude pics--can't do this if I'm not attracted to you. And tell me a bit about yourself.
Eric Prae: Just what I’ve always wanted, a baby in Bentonville with a married woman. At least she likes gingers!
Jenn B.: While I go through life trying NOT to get pregnant, this woman is making her uterus a walking billboard for illegitimate children. And lying to your husband about this? What could go wrong?! If we have any readers in Arkansas, which after this I almost hope we don't, please let us know if you know this lady. I want to buy her a PBR for her audacity.
Thanks for the submission Aaron. You are quickly becoming the “King of Craigslist”!
Eric, this AD was meant for you. Too bad you missed it. Or did you?
Need to get pregnant fast by clean educated man - w4m
Date: 2009-11-28, 8:32AM CST
Looking for a light skinned man to get me pregnant this coming weekend or early next week. You will need light brown blonde or red hair. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for months now and my doctor says I'm fine so it must be him--it would kill him not to have kids. Be drug and disease free. I figure we can try a couple of times while I'm visiting this week and hopefully I will be pregnant for my flight back home. Send a couple of pictures of yourself, especially want nude pics--can't do this if I'm not attracted to you. And tell me a bit about yourself.
- Location: Bentonville
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Eric Prae: Just what I’ve always wanted, a baby in Bentonville with a married woman. At least she likes gingers!
Jenn B.: While I go through life trying NOT to get pregnant, this woman is making her uterus a walking billboard for illegitimate children. And lying to your husband about this? What could go wrong?! If we have any readers in Arkansas, which after this I almost hope we don't, please let us know if you know this lady. I want to buy her a PBR for her audacity.
Thanks for the submission Aaron. You are quickly becoming the “King of Craigslist”!
Craigslist Failures: The 2 Hour Party!
posted 8/3/10
The first ever Craigslist Failure from Aaron C. in Syracuse was pure domination. Since then we have received so many that Jenn and I need to take a whole day to sift through them and pick out the winners (or would it be losers?).
Here is today’s Craigslist Failure from some “interesting” people in Miami:
can you host 2 hour party? - 2427 (miami)
Date: 2010-08-03, 7:13AM EDT
Reply To This Post
home or business locations sought (free) for fetish porn video productions. host is welcome to watch, possibly participate if desired
please send description and times available if you have such a venue
please DO NOT send any c**k pics!
crew is 2 to 4 people 1 is always female. lots of fun if your cup of tea
put LOCALE in subject line
· Location: miami
· it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Team Struggle: Yes, they did have a pic attached. Unfortunately it would have gotten our website blocked at your place of employment. Damn.
Jenn B.: So they want to come over and sex up my house for free?
Eric Prae: I don’t need 2 hours…
Jenn B.: Hello! I’m here for the gang bang…
Eric Prae: If I can’t send you a pic of my c**k then I’m really just not that interested.
Here is today’s Craigslist Failure from some “interesting” people in Miami:
can you host 2 hour party? - 2427 (miami)
Date: 2010-08-03, 7:13AM EDT
Reply To This Post
home or business locations sought (free) for fetish porn video productions. host is welcome to watch, possibly participate if desired
please send description and times available if you have such a venue
please DO NOT send any c**k pics!
crew is 2 to 4 people 1 is always female. lots of fun if your cup of tea
put LOCALE in subject line
· Location: miami
· it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Team Struggle: Yes, they did have a pic attached. Unfortunately it would have gotten our website blocked at your place of employment. Damn.
Jenn B.: So they want to come over and sex up my house for free?
Eric Prae: I don’t need 2 hours…
Jenn B.: Hello! I’m here for the gang bang…
Eric Prae: If I can’t send you a pic of my c**k then I’m really just not that interested.
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