Reader's Blog: Facebook Offenders!!! Today’s Facebook Offender comes from our good friend and Reader’s Blog monthly contributor, Alexis from D.C.!!! She writes: Team Struggle- Just in time for the holidays, another Facebook Offender, courtesy of yours truly! TMI Guy is an acquaintance from an organization I belonged to in college about 8 years ago. Seems like there's always a little drama in his life, and it's frequently broadcast on Facebook, but this one really takes the cake. I have to imagine that his mother-in-law and/or other members of his wife's family are on FB too, so I predict some Thanksgiving fireworks! We can only hope that the full play-by-play will appear on his Wall in the next few days. See you in the 'Cuse on Friday for our weekend boozefest...I mean 10-year reunion! :-) TMI Guy Status Update #1: My mother in law is like a slinky...while otherwise useless they both put a smile on my face when I throw them down the stairs. Lol. 2 people like this. Random Commenter #1: Funny cuz its true lol TMI Guy: You have no idea!!! Let's just say we had TMI Baby's 1st birthday party with my dads side of the family at my apartment and she totally embarrassed herself and in the process me and TMI Gal. It was just so surreal almost like a nightmare thankfully she's leaving tomorrow. She would of left tonight but she was too fucked up from pills to be able to drive tomorrow. Oh and then when I confronted her after everyone left she told TMI Gal I told her that I was going to leave her and take TMI Baby from her which is total bullshit Random Commenter #1: OMG what a dumb bitch. That is some serious horse shit ! TMI Guy: Well i wouldn't go that far in calling her a bitch. She is the mother to my wife afterall she's just sick and has a serious addiction issue Random Commenter #1: Well you know what I mean. Random Commenter #2: LOL...totally needed a good laugh, your status definitely did it! Can't wait to see all the pictures and video of TMI Baby and the party :) Is she all "partied out" yet? TMI Guy: U wouldn't believe it though she literally fell asleep in her car before the party started as people were arriving, then continued to fall asleep while standing, mid conversation to my grandma, fell asleep while trying to cook spaghetti which my brother and I had to rescue and then almost put her face into her dinner and desert. It was so sad. Thats why I don't take pain killers Random Commenter #2: oh WOW! Y didn't she just excuse herself from the whole party and sleep it all off? I haven't had any pain killers but I know what they do to my mom when she occasionally takes one. She can't even take a whole one, it has to be 1/2 and even then she's out cold for 4hrs straight. Sounds like mom-in-law needed more of a nap then TMI Baby probably did :P TMI Guy: TMI Gal's mom is an addict and doesn't realize her actions and the consequences of them. We told her to go lay down and she refused. She takes 750mg percoset which may or may not even be prescribed to her TMI Guy: I'm just glad TMI Baby is too young to realize what happened at her party. TMI Guy's Mom: I am so sorry! Eric Prae: Ouch. This seems like the type of thing you might not want to broadcast publically. TMI Guy Status Update #2: I for the life of me can't sleep I guess its because of the way a certain person acted at my daughter(her granddaughters) 1st birthday. I just have so much i want to say to her but unfortunately my mom and dad raised me right. Ugggghh TMI Guy's Mom: Good job! I am proud of you, keep biting your tongue. Love you. If TMI Gal or you need to talk I am here. Eric Prae: OK TMI Guy, now you’re just being a drama queen. As always, excellent submission Alexis! Thanks for riding the Struggle Bus. Add Comment Reader's Blog: Randi Whipple - My Landlord is so Dumb & A Date with Clint Eastwood Eric Prae: Today’s Reader’s Blog comes from our good friend Randi! First let’s start with a poem titled: “My Landlord is so Dumb!” My Landlord is so Dumb! By Randi Whipple My landlord is so dumb, he called me today and asked if his friend could move into the extra bedroom. Ugh ya. That's just what I want, my landlords friend I don’t know living with me. My landlord is so dumb, it once took him 45 minutes to try and explain the tie that holds a bread bag closed. My landlord is so dumb, his business is a bunch of pyramid schemes; Such as Pre Paid Legal and some bullshit goal oriented positive thinking scam. His office is lambasted with venn diagrams and charts of success. His Scion is covered in advertisements for Pre Paid legal. Mind you, he has never been to law school. My landlord is so dumb, when a pipe burst, instead of hiring professionals he hired Mexicans off the street that couldn’t speak English. And they sealed my cat into the wall. Almost twice! My landlord is so dumb, right before my roommate left for real law school; this is the text she received from him: "Meet me at the Holiday Inn. Suite 7. I have something VERY IMPORTANT to show you. You may/may not be interested. I'll buy you a drink. See you soon.".... I know i know. It wasn't what it sounded like. It turned out to be a Pre paid legal seminar. Guess he just wanted to keep the mystery in the Pre Paid legal world. My landlord is so dumb he signs his emails with a giant picture of himself with a shit eating grin. Written underneath "To your success!" I will be renting to own my home in December. God help me till then. Eric Prae: Then Randi sent us a story about a date she went on: A Date with Clint Eastwood! First off, I'm in love with Clint Eastwood. I recently (meaning yesterday) tried to change my dating status on Facebook to " in a relationship with Clint Eastwood." Facebook didn't believe me and wouldn't let me. Anyways, when I first moved to Portland I met this bartender that looked just like Clint Eastwood. He looked stern, but fair. He even had a super perfect worn in Levis that made him look like a cowboy. And he was from Alaska! He was man and I wanted to fuck him. I usually worked my dates in reverse: fuck, then breakfast/lunch the next day if I like you after that. So I take him home after he got off work one night. That morning we are cuddling after sex and he hands me his cell phone and has me listen to a voicemail he had saved... I listened. It was a girl crying hysterically. I handed his phone back and said nothing (one of the only times I had nothing to say). He said, "I can be a mean guy sometimes." I figured whatever, he looks just like Clint. So I ignored any warning signs and our date continued. We went to lunch and he asked if he could take me to one of his favorite parks. Of course I went. I had just moved to Portland and didn't know where anything was. We ended up in a swamp in the middle of nowhere. Then he pulled out his machete. This is when I thought "I could maybe die right now." Luckily he was only interested in cutting up logs, branches and shrubs. I sat in the swamp in pouring rain and watched my Clint Eastwood look alike chop stuff up with his machete. He ended up being really weird and things didn't work out. Readers Blog: Facebook Offenders!!! Today’s Reader’s Blog comes from Jenn’s close friend Torrey. He sent in an all time great Facebook Offender. The only thing better than relationship drama on Facebook is relationship AND baby mamma drama! Let me set the scene for you: The post is from a guy who’s actual name on Facebook is [first name] lovemywife [last name]. And “lovemywife” is a pseudonym because if I put what he actually has, it becomes easy to look him up on Facebook, and we don’t need any more people pissed at us. I didn’t make any of this up. Anyway, “lovemywife” decided to announce that his new wife, that he clearly loves so much, is pregnant. How did he announce this? Facebook post. He kept it classy. Enjoy: Lovemywife: well the news is out, lets see if you all can figure it out? First Random Friend: Are u having a baby?!? Second Random Friend: The wife is expecting...?! Lovemywife: lol, hmmmmm. maybe. you two are good though. First Random Friend Again: Well I mean what else couldit be silly!! Soooo exciting! Second Random Friend Again: Haha well whatever it is best of luck to you guys :) [Ok, so not bad so far. But this is when it all falls apart] Pissed Off Commenter: doesn't surprise me. let me guess what happens next... you leave her and never see your child?? cuz that what you did to your other two children. am I right?? Lovemywife: yes it is Pissed Off Commenter Again: congrats [Ouch! Way to take that joy out of this fun day. What happens next? “Lovemywife’s” actual New Wife chimes in to defend her man!] Actual New Wife: No its not gunnah be like that!! Sry I'M HERE TO STAY!! Lovemywife: no [Pissed Off Commenter] that yes it is wasnt meant to you, and i see my daughter, your sister doesnt let me see my son. you dont know what your talking about. i try constantly to see him. shit i gave you my number to have your sister call me and that never happened. dont tyou dare go there with me. i do everything in my ability to see him, she wont let me New Random Commenter: woah that got ugly quick. On a lighter note CONGRATS to you and your wife Lovemywife: thanks friend. its always the people that have no clue, and are jealous obviously that have something negative to say Random Commenter Again: That baby is going to have AMAZING eyes... [You think the public drama would end there, and this “Father of the Year” candidate would just call this post quits. But then another random friend comes out to call “Actual New Wife” a lush. This Facebook post just gets better and better!] Random Idiot: New Wife is pregnant? Lovemywife: yea Idiot Friend: aint her n dez going out for drinks tonite? oh well to each their own...congrats anyways! Lovemywife: no, she hasnt told dez yet that she isnt drinking. she responsible nikki, come on now. Lol Idiot Friend: id hope so but i dnt know the girl to say....but congrats to u both! im happy for u's Lovemywife: Thanks Eric Prae: THAT was just epic! A few hundred words of bliss! Jenn B.: I love how in the middle of all that, some idiot chips in, “That baby is going to have amazing eyes!” Go ahead, completely dismiss the fact that the baby is going to have a father who can’t keep his wiener in his pants, doesn’t take care of his 12 other kids, and the mommy is contributing to yet another case of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Again, another reason other countries hate America. Thanks for the submission Torrey! Reader's Blog: Facebook Offenders!!! Eric Prae: Two great Facebook Offenders for the Reader’s Blog! You need more internet stupidity? We have it. Time to stand against those who are ruining our social networking sites! Bill G. in Rochester, NY writes: Team Struggle- Facebook status like this makes me just want to quit the whole social network thing altogether. It’s like those bad Christmas letters you would get from annoying family member all year around. Random Friend: Louie officially had his man-hood taken away today. :( I wish I didn't have to do it, but no bitch (literally) could ever reproduce as cute of a pup as him. Sorry Lou!! Eric Prae: Bill you don’t appreciate a pet testicle removal update? I’m not sure who I feel worse for, this person’s Facebook Friends or Lou the dog! The next Facebook Offender comes from our friend Alexis in D.C. She was kind enough to introduce us to her Facebook Friend “Crazy Girl” who is certifiably insane. If you missed Crazy Girl part 1-3, go to the “Get Involved” tab and see Facebook Offenders from September and October 2010. Alexis: Team Struggle – I'm worried that Crazy Girl is on to me! Check out these recent status updates: Crazy Girl status update #1: it's official... i've decided to take a break from facebook for awhile... but, no worries! i'll be back soon! this Queen Bee has a throne to reign! just hope all of my little honey bees stay happy & healthy while i am away! lots of love & hugs to you all. XoXo Wednesday at 7:32pm Crazy Girl status update #2: The Queen Bee is Back! 4 all u ladies, u know who u r, who keep tabs on my fb & talk bout me @ the lunch table, like we in Jr. High. Go ahead. Keep talking. U can’t touch me. I am 2strong4u. All ur talking won’t change the fact that u’re not me & u’ll never be me. P.S. 4 all my fellas, I got nothin but luv 4u, b/c we already had this conversation, & as long as u respect & care 4 me, I’ll always be ur Queen Bee! XoXo 5 hours ago Alexis: Am I in big trouble? I can't imagine how she would know I submitted her for public ridicule. I didn't tip off any mutual friends! Maybe I'm just being paranoid... Eric Prae: She might go crazy and…. De-friend you? I think I am starting to like the self proclaimed “Queen Bee”. Maybe the Queen Bee can start writing for the Reader’s Blog! Maybe she is 2strong4us. Either way she is an idiot and needs to stop struggling so badly with Facebook! Jenn B.: Crazy Girl: It’s “U Can’t C Me”. Know your 2pac songs! Thank You both for the submissions! Reader’s Blog: Randi Whipple - What I Did With My Birthday Present! Our first ever Struggle Bus Reader’s Blog comes from Randi Whipple in Portland, Oregon. Randi is a lifelong friend of Jenn’s and been aboard the Struggle Bus since its inception. We get a lot of reader emails, but Randi’s always standout as the funniest, wierdest, and most ridiculous. She has also been a frequent contributor to 5 Questions. If there was anyone who needed to be the absolute first person to write for us, it had to be her. First I had to negotiate to get her involved. This is how it went: Eric Prae: We are looking for a select few awesome and funny individuals to be monthly contributors. This reader’s blog would suck without you. You in? Randi: Only if I can post my photos, drawings, art, photos of my cat in her costumes, photos of crafts I make, and photos of tiny things with weed in them… And I want to be knighted the Official Struggle Bus Artist!!! Eric Prae: Done So here is Blog Post #1 in the brand new Reader’s Blog (that I assume will turn into complete chaos soon). Coming all the way from Portland, OR, I give to you the recently knighted Official Struggle Bus artist: Randi! Reader’s Blog: What I Did With My Birthday Present By Randi Whipple For my birthday, my mom gave me this tiny collectible Wizard of Oz box. What else could I put in this besides weed? Then I started collecting… And collecting… (see photos 1-3 below) The next year she gave me a rhinestone Pirates of the Caribbean Tee, and a bottle of prescription pain pills. I think I love her… P.S. Happy Halloween from my cat Baby Skipper, dressed up as Justin Bieber! (see photo 4 below) -Randi Randi's Photos    |  Struggle Bus Readers
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