5 Questions 10/4/10

Ohhhh a great day for 5 Questions!  Let’s do this!

 
Question #1:  Eric, I saw you do stand up at the Tampa Improv, you’re hysterical.  Your Tiger Woods bit killed me.  I see a future in stand up for you. (Sam in Tampa)

Eric Prae:  Thank You!!!  I had to pay my rent, and it was better than giving hand jobs for crack.

Thanks to everyone who came out to the Improv last night.  The Improv Manager said we packed that room with over 250 people.  Thanks for your support and laughter, I love you all…

Jenn B.: I was so impressed with my lil’ Ginger!  I felt like how it must have felt for his mother when Eric had his first ballet recital. 

 


Question #2:  Every news channel is making “cyber-bullying” sound like the next form of terrorism.  I’m leaving it up to you two idiots to say something funny about “cyber-bullying”.  (Kat in New York)

Jenn B.:  I think I may fall into the category of cyber bullying, but at least I do it in person, as well… But, when it comes to the kids doing that stuff- it just goes to show how god damn lazy our society has become.  Kids can’t even walk outside to make fun of other kids and throw rocks at them!  No, now they sit home on their fat little asses, pounding Easy Mac and Pizza Rolls, and sending out emails telling other kids how stupid they are.

Eric Prae:  I hate to sound like the hippy, liberal, animal rights activist, but the way that kids are cybering those bulls is just disgusting.  We need to respect animals more.  We need to understand the astuteness, intelligence, sensitivities, sentiment, and needs of these majestic beasts.  Cybering an animal of any kind is wrong, and children need to be educated about the effects that cybering is having on the bull population…

Wait, what’s “cyber-bullying” again?

 


Question #3:  “My v-neck is so fresh that I skipped t-shirt time.  Like it defied the rules of t-shirt time!”  I LOVE Jersey Shore!  (Nicole in Syracuse)

Jenn B.:  ITTTT’s T-SHIRT TIIIIIIIMMMMMEEEEE.  I watched a Jersey Shore Marathon yesterday with our roommate Jo-Jo before Eric’s big show (It never gets old).  The guy that is currently putting up with my crap doesn’t understand why I love that show so much.  I told him, “If you’re going to love me, you have to love Jersey Shore.”  Let’s see how that works out. 

Eric Prae:  With only 2 episodes left in the Jersey Shore season, the cast members and crew do Eric Prae and the rest of the hearing impaired community a HUGE favor by getting rid of that awful bitch Angelina.  Without her screeching, screaming, and nails-on-a-chalk-board voice, I can officially watch my favorite show with my hearing aids on!!!  She is the reason that televisions come with mute buttons and closed captioning! 

 


Question #4:  As predicted on the Struggle Bus, the Tampa Bay Rays won the AL East and are going to win the World Series.  Hey Jenn, why do your Yankees suck?  (This person didn’t leave a name)

Jenn B.:  Hey whoever wrote this question- why are you such a douche?  Let me know when the Tampa Bay Rays (or any other sub-par excuse for a baseball franchise) even remotely comes within the same universe of the number of World Series Championships that my team (that sucks so terribly) has.  That would be 27 to be exact.  Bitch.

Eric Prae:  I love when the readers get Jenn all worked up about sports.  I know I am a total bandwagon Tampa Bay fan, but to see a team with no pay roll win in Baseball is just wonderful.  It shows how bad the management is on teams like the Mets, Cubs and Dodgers.  They have millions to spend, packed stadiums and fans that care, and still can’t make the f-ing playoffs!  Please God, let the small market, nobody-cares-about-Baseball-here Tampa Bay Rays win a ring.  The Miami Marlins did it twice with a bunch of guys that now work the night shift at a Denny’s in Jacksonville.  For the sake of good comedy, please let us win the World Series.

Wouldn’t it be the greatest comedy moment in sports if the Rays won the World Series because one of their players hit a ball off the “D Ring” or the roof of the stadium!  Everyone already hates Tropicana Field and its weird rules about hitting the roof.  I think the earth would actually stop rotating.  This must happen.



Question #5:  For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week!  Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.

Eric Prae:  I was out to dinner with Jenn and the guy she is dating that she still doesn’t know the name of, when I got “cold called” by Triple A.  Here is the actual conversation:

Eric Prae:  Hello?

AAA Operator:  Hello sir, may I please speak to Eric Prae… Praeto…  Praetows… Prae-tor-oreos…

Eric Prae:  Ya, that’s me.   What’s up?

AAA Operator:  Good evening sir, I am calling form Triple A with an outstanding, one time only, promotional offer.

Eric Prae:  AWESOME!!!  What is it?

(Yes, I always take “cold calls” from random corporations, even during dinner.  I was dumb enough to get a business/management degree in college and have spent a few nights in my life cold calling for some corporation that promised me a promotion. I would do ANYTHING to go back in time, spend my college tuition money on traveling through Europe, not get a worthless bachelors degree, not have a bad surgically repaired knee from playing college football, and just gotten into the porn industry when all my money ran out.  If I had done all of that, I still would probably be a broke 28 year old with a crappy resume and a website.  But, the website would be A LOT more visually stimulating.)

Anyway…

AAA Operator:  You have the one time opportunity to add a spouse or child to your AAA account for FREE!  You can set them up over the phone right now.  It’s easy, and again, it’s TOTALLY FREE!

Eric Prae:  Hmmm.  The problem is that I don’t have a spouse or any kids.  At least none that I know of.

AAA Operator:  Ohhh, well I’m not sure you can take advantage of this offer.

Eric Prae:  I do have a smoking hot blonde girlfriend; can I put her on for free?

AAA Operator:  No, only if she is a spouse or a child.

Eric Prae:  That’s probably a good thing.  I bet she will dump me as soon as the drugs wear off and realizes she is dating a deaf ginger with no real job.

AAA Operator:  Ummm...  Sooo…

Eric Prae:  Can I put my dog on my policy?  I let him drive all the time!

AAA Operator:  You let your dog drive?

Eric Prae:  Duh.  Why do you think I have Triple A?  He’s a shitty driver!

(click)

Eric Prae:  Hello?  You there?  Triple A dude?  Hello?  I really want to add my dog…

That’s how I struggle.
 
 


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