5 Questions 8/9/10

5 Questions coming to you from Ohio!  I am here with a very special guest, my awesome sister Nicole!  Let’s do this!

Question #1:  Team Struggle, what do you think of Jersey Shore so far this season? (asked by 100 different readers)

Eric Prae:  Love it!  It is the only television show that I watch.  Mike is “the Situation”; if I was on the show I would be “the Instigation!”  I would just walk around behind Ronnie and JWOWW, feeding them drinks and trying to get them to fight someone.  It would be wonderful.

Nicole Prae:  I love the fact that Snookie can buy $400 sunglasses and I can’t get a job with a master’s degree.  These morons are making tens of thousands of dollars an episode and they have to work in an ice cream shop for $6 an hour.  Hilarious.

Jenn B.: “I’m putting Vaseline on my face, I’m taking off my earrings, I’m putting my hair up, and I am beating the crap out of her.”  JWOWW, such a way with words.  And, she was so nonchalant about it.  I hope someday that I can be as verbally dainty/graceful as she.  JWOWW, you and your cantaloupes are my idols.

 

Question #2:  I can’t decide what my favorite website is: The Struggle Bus or RedTube.  Thoughts? (Stephanie in Virginia)

Nicole Prae:  Depends on what time of day….. RedTube

Jenn B.:  Pornhub…<disgusted sigh> Amateurs.  Doesn’t matter what time of day it is when you have iPhone Apps… Thanks, Apple!

 

Question #3:  What is the difference between white eggs and brown eggs? (Jennifer in Tampa)

Eric Prae:  Racism.

Nicole Prae:  Brown eggs can dunk.

Jenn B.:  I could really go for a brown one right now… the white ones tend to have cracks in the shell, and lots of emotional baggage.  Wait, what are we talking about again?

 

Question #4: Are you ready for some football????  (Dave in Rochester, NY)

Eric Prae:  ABSOLUTELY!  I am going to the Buffalo Bills training camp tomorrow with my buddy Diesel!  Here are my very non-expert predictions for this upcoming season:

1- My beloved Miami Dolphins will make me cry at least twice this year

2- Jenn’s Quarterback will finally announce that he has Down’s syndrome (she is a Giants fan)

3- The Cincinnati Bangles will the most exciting team in the history of Football (off the field)

 

Nicole Prae:  My non-expert predictions:

1- Michael Vick will still be a scum bag

2- Jerry Jones grandson moves to Syracuse, NY, and falls in love with me.  For our wedding gift, Jerry gives me part ownership in the team.  I then make my brother the guy that washes their laundry.

3- Our Buffalo Bills will stink, again.  Let’s go upstate!!!

 

Jenn B.:  Men in tight pants hitting each other with the force of an 18-wheeler.  I love football season.  Eric and I will have all our plasma TVs out in the living room, watching every game possible. 

I also predict at least one mid-season bar brawl that I will have inevitably caused because of my lack of ability to keep my mouth closed, especially around Cowboy’s fans.

 

Question #5:  For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week!  Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.

Eric Prae:  During Jenn’s very long and committed two week relationship, I got dragged on a beach pub crawl going up Gulf blvd.  After way too many bars and way too many drinks, we decided to hit just one more bar for a night cap.  It just happened to be the dumpiest, crappiest, small town dive bar that I have ever seen.  A whole group of us sat in what I can best describe as a double-wide trailer disguised as a tavern, being served by a 90 year old with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.  While one of our friends was being hit on by a guy that could have been her grandfather, I grabbed a draft beer and started planning Jenn’s assassination.

 Then life’s dark clouds parted and a light shone down from the heavens!  A fat guy with a sweet, sweet gnarly goatee started setting up a karaoke machine!  Has my night been saved?

Nope.  Bad rendition of country songs I’ve never heard of, after bad rendition of country songs I’ve never heard of, blared over the speakers.  To make it worse, the people singing were taking themselves a little too seriously.  Don’t they know that karaoke was invented for people to laugh?  Not try out for their dream career as a Tim McGraw backup singer.

Then it was my turn.  I pounded my beer, stood up, grabbed the mic and dropped “Ain’t Nothin’ but A G Thang” by Snoop Dogg.  The small town crowd looked mortified.  All my friends loved it.  II am obviously a lyrical poet.  I then grabbed the song book and started looking for suggestions for my next performance.  That’s when the fat southern dude who was running this show decided to intervene.

Fat Southern Dude:  Ummm, what you doin’ boy?

Drunk Eric Prae:  2Pac!  Just don’t know if I want to do “California Love” or “U Can’t C Me”.

Fat Southern Dude:  Ummm, that’s not a good idea.  I mean if you put in your song now, you’ll be like 25th in line.

I stood up and looked around the double-wide dump tavern.

Drunk Eric Prae:  25th?  There is like 15 people in here….  And 10 of them are with me!

Fat Southern Dude:  Naw man, I mean, we just don’t like rap ‘round here.

Drunk & Irritated Eric Prae:  This is America!  Freedom of speech!  EVERYONE likes Snoop Dogg!  I just woke up your audience from the comas that your party put them in.  Basically sir, you should be paying me to rap!

Fat Southern Dude:  It’s my karaoke machine, I make the rules.  I’ll get you kicked out.

Drunk, Irritated & Wise Ass Eric Prae:  You know the North won right?  Don’t be a racist!

Fat Southern Dude:  You’re white and I’m….

Drunk, Irritated, Wise Ass & Frustrated Eric Prae:  Screw you fat boy!

Then Jenn and the rest of the drunken party parade decided to pull me off the stage and towards the exit, making fun of me the whole way to the car.  That is how you end the night.  That is how you struggle.

U Can’t C Me!
 
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