5 Questions 11/1/10

Happy November!  It’s almost the greatest holiday of the year, Thanksgiving!!!  Let’s do this!


Question #1:  Jenn- You have two n’s in your name.  Most people that have an extra consonant are sexual deviants or crazy.  Explain yourself!  (From Steve in Florida)

Eric Prae:  Hey!  Leave my BFF Jenn alone.  Mad cool people have an extra consonant!  Jamie Foxx, Dann Florek (from Law & Order SVU), J-WOWW, and Jenn Sterger to name a few.  Plus, Jenn never said she wasn’t a sexual deviant or a crazy person.

Jenn B:  First of all, can we all take a moment of silence to notice that Eric said “mad cool?”  Ok, awesome.  Anyways, Steve… my name is Jennifer  (always spelled with 2 n’s), therefore any grammatically literate person would naturally spell their abbreviated name with a similar production of letters.  Or, in other words- SHUT UP.

 

Question #2:  What were you for Halloween?  (From Alexandra in NY)

Eric King:  For Halloween I was a black, underpaid employee, who does all the work! Did I go out?  No!  Because I was a black, underpaid employee, who does all the work!

Eric Prae:  When I first moved to Tampa Bay I went out and bought a $20 pirate costume, because every festival we have down here has a pirate theme.  I use that stupid pirate costume for EVERYTIME I am invited to a costume party.  So last Saturday, when I went to a costume party, I was a pirate.

At work I was a princess.  Then Halloween night I was a dressed as an extremely happy, half naked 28 year old hippy, sitting on his couch, drinking a martini and watching a House M.D. marathon.

Jenn B:  I have coulrophobia.  That is the “scientific” name for the phobia relating to the fear of clowns or anyone wearing a mask of some sort.  This is completely legit.  Ask my Dad; he will vouch for me, and then make fun of me all in the same breath.  So, needless to say, I avoid Halloween at all costs.  Just like my fine red-headed friend, I was at home, on our couch, and drinking martinis.  He was the only one half naked.

Besides that, I view Halloween as just another excuse for girls to look like total skanks.  And, unfortunately, a lot of the girls out there should not be wearing those skimpy little French Maid costumes, because they look as if they ate one.  A French Maid, that is.

 

Question #3:  What is your favorite Halloween candy? (from Gus in Tampa)

Eric Prae:  No, her name is “Candi” and my favorite thing that she does is….

Jenn B:  My favorite Halloween candy is Jameson.

Eric King:  Reese’s Pieces is always the first victim from my pillow case.  Basically anything chocolate I eat first, I call it black on black crime.

 

Question #4:  Team Struggle, I need your help.  On Tuesday I have to vote. My choices are conservative, gay hating, douche bag- Rick Scott, or ultra liberal, pension stealing thief- Alex Sink for Florida governor.  What the hell should I do?  (Matt in St Pete)

Eric Prae:  Honestly, I have no idea.  It’s pretty obvious that I lean a little left, but these two seem like the equivalent of voting for herpes vs. hemorrhoids.  An election like this is when the system completely fails us.  Your whole life you are told that every vote counts and you need to vote.  But when it comes to these two, people shouldn’t vote in protest.  My head hurts, hey look – Sunday Night Football... 

Jenn B: Eric, I didn’t know you hung to the left?

My Dad made a great point the other day on his Facebook post (yes, I am referencing my Dad’s Facebook status).  He pointed out that as shitty as our economy is, and with all the politicians bitching at each other about unnecessary spending; they can still justify spending $3 million+ on advertising for their campaigns.  For this, I hate politicians.  At this point, I just feel like whoever we put into office, it’s going to be a game of “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” for them.  Except, it will be called, “Eh, shit if I know!  Let’s try this policy…maybe this will fix everything.”

Rick Scott is going to be a no-go for me, since I am not even close to conservative in my views.  I get antsy when I see a “comma” in my bank account, and I go blow it on ponies, hot air balloons, or whatever unnecessary expenditure catches my eyes.  Plus, the whole “anti-gay” thing doesn’t really work for me.

As far as Alex Sink, I can’t really say much there.  What I do know is that as far as pension, or anything related to social security- it probably won’t matter in my future anyway.  At my adult-like-job the other day, we had people come in from an investments company trying to tell me what to do with my money.  All I took from it was, “Blah, blah, blah…give us your money every week, even though you can’t even afford groceries.”  But, at least they were honest when they told us that we will never, ever, ever see any of the money being taken from our paychecks for social security.  That’s uplifting.

Eric King:  I don’t know what to tell ya.  Voting is basically just choosing the least dirtiest person to screw up the local government.  I usually just vote for the candidate with the lowest chance of winning, so when they lose I didn’t screw anything up and I can always say I voted.

 

Question #5:  For the fifth and final question we give you: The Struggle Moment of the Week!  Thanks to Sarah from NY for the original idea.

Eric Prae:  This week’s Struggle Moment comes from the gym that I go to.  I find it completely amazing that 20 grown men can peacefully share a gym, while wearing head phones, having no verbal exchange, and be completely focused on what they’re doing.  It only takes one complete douche bag to show up and ruin it for everyone.  Well, that douche bag happened to walk into out gym the other night and cause a great moment of complete failure.

Please understand that I enjoy the gym, but am by no means a “muscle head”.  I try to keep myself in good “volleyball shape” and I enjoy working out.  I also enjoy a lot of alcohol and love to eat pizza.  I just want to look good enough naked to continue my nudist lifestyle around the house, and have my clothes fit well enough to attract someone of the opposite sex.  I won’t be competing in any body building competitions anytime soon.

“Gym Douche” sauntered into the weight room wearing a sweet muscle tee, designer shorts, a head band, and of course – a wire from his phone to his ear so he could seem important.  He also sported a sweet 1990’s barbed wire tattoo around his left bicep.  He remembered his muscle tee, but he seemed to forget his muscles.

After walking around the room, talking on his phone, flexing in the mirror and sizing up the competition, he decided to walk right over to me and get chatty.

Gym Douche:  Are you using that?

Eric Prae:  What?  (I had headphones on)

Gym Douche:  Are you using that?

Eric Prae:  You mean the weight that is in my hand?  Yes, yes I am using it.

Gym Douche:  Are you almost done?

Eric Prae:  Maybe; I could probably finish up a lot faster if this conversation was over.

Gym Douche:  Hold on…

Yep- he told ME to hold on as he loudly continued his phone conversation.  Wasn’t he the one who initiated conversation in the first place?  I didn’t feel like waiting for him to get done, so I put my headphones back on and kept going. 

He decided the conversation was not over.

Gym Douche:  Are you using the abs straps?

Eric Prae: Oh, you are done with your secretary?  Yes I have one set left and I…

Gym Douche walked away mid sentence and started bothering someone else.  He now wanted to use the incline bench.  Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for everyone watching, the guy using it was much, much larger than any normal human being, and as it turns out, he REALLY didn’t want to be bothered.  I saw this train wreck coming and turned my music down.  I stood there and dreamed about this jacked guy taking one of the 200 45lbs plates off of his incline bar and beating this gym douche to death with it.

Gym Douche:  Are you using that bench?

Jacked Guy:  What?

Gym Douche:  Are you using that bench?

Jacked Guy:  No, it’s using me!  Yes I am using it.

Eric Prae:  (Giggling…)

Gym Douche:  Oh, well it’s just that I am in a hurry and…

Jacked Guy:  You’re in a hurry to get my fist in your mouth!

This is when the whole gym stopped and looked at this massive man, with all the blood (and muscle enhancers?) pounding out of his veins, and silently wished he would play “whack-a-mole” with Gym Douche’s forehead.  I am usually against caveman-like behavior, but it had been a long day and I needed some comedy.  Plus, I kept my mouth shut because Jacked Guy could probably kick my ass.

Gym Douche then pretended to get a phone call and scurried out of the room with his tail between his legs.  It was a smart move.  I took 30 seconds to laugh and then went back to my 30 pound weights.

Final tally for Gym Douche:  20 min at the gym, 0 calories burned, 20 people pissed off, 1 death threat.  Solid workout!

That is how you struggle!
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